Friday, September 5, 2008

The sound of silence . . .

. . . is deafening here! According to Site Meter, there were over 70 visits to the blog today (click on the Site Meter icon at the bottom of the page if you want to see stats). And we had the grand total of ONE comment. Now, Site Meter only counts visits, not visitors -- maybe the one commenter visited 70 times, but I doubt it! The reason I blog instead of quietly writing in my own journal is that I'm really hoping for feedback. I think out loud better if I know someone is listening.

I named the blog Adoption Talk not just because Zoe and Maya and I are talking about adoption, but in the hope that we'd ALL talk about talking about adoption! I'm no expert -- I'm just an opinionated mom sharing what we are doing in the hopes that you will share what you are doing. So please share!!!!!

So here are my suggestions to get more input from y'all:

1. Comment, PLEASE! Feel free to disagree, tell me I did it all wrong, suggest what I should have said instead. Feel free to agree, point out for the benefit of others how YOU did it or would do it. Comment just to say hi or tell us about yourself. Comment to brag on your kids, brag on yourself. Share your joys, share your fears. Comment, comment, comment! You don't need to sign up for a Google account to comment, you can be anonymous, no problem!

2. Children's book reviews. Email me (click on "See My Profile" to find my email address) your child's picture and review of their favorite children's book related to adoption, China, race, etc. Click here for more details, and here, here, here, and here, to read the first reviews.

3. Adult book reviews. Email me (click on "See My Profile" to find my email address) your picture (or not!) and review of YOUR favorite book about adoption, China, race, etc. Follow the format for the children's book review, or make up your own!

4. On-line resources. Share your favorite sites on adoption, China, international adoption, transracial adoption, parenting, race, etc. I'd love to have links to blogs by adult adoptees, other adoptive parents talking about talking about adoption, birth parents, etc. Share in the comments or email me.

5. Email me. Let me know what you'd like to see on the blog.

OK, that's enough whining -- I feel like an adolescent! No one wants to talk to me. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to hide and eat worms!


zoe'sfriendsyd said...

It's me! I enjoy reading everything you write.
I am still thinking about that uterus blog - and the expression on MiMi's face when asked about her honeymoon! I just love your Mom.
I haven't discussed baby creation acts with my daughter in depth since she hasn't asked detailed questions. OK so I am a prude like my mother! She gave us books and said "Here, go read."
I discuss these things often at work. I can do better than my OWN Mom. I intend to tell her that a man and woman's body parts fit together like pieces of a puzzle and a baby is created. Then I'll have a relaxed look on my face and ask if she has any questions.
How's that for not giving out books? :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you are blogging again!
Your posts have made me laugh (my uterus hurts) and have an interesting debate with my dad (Every American Child can grow up to be President) and both girls are enjoying the "dress up site"
My girls are both 5 but seem to be in very different places when it comes to birthpartent talks or even adoption or China talks. Kaylee who was adopted at 11 months old does not want to talk about it at all, while Emily who was adopted at 3.5 wants to talk about it all the time. She has asked why her birthmom couldn't keep her then why PoPo (her foster mother) couldn't keep her. She seems very well adjusted and has had a remarkably easy transistion, but in her mind, she has two homes, one in China with PoPo and one here.

Chinazhoumom said...

Just so you know - I look forward to logging into bloglines daily - and seeing if there are any new "words for the wise" at your site.

I was laughing so hard when I read about the question that was asked at your parents honeymoon...I bet you could hear crickets chirp!

I have alwasy spoken of L's adoption -looked at pics etc - way before she had a clue - and she always sais I was born in China etc...
but the other day while watching video of the trip - in Beinjing- she made an intersting comment...mama -look all those people are Chinese..( more at my blog) really made me think that I need to expose her to more adult Asian people - not just kids - like in her mind - kids are Chinese - but thne most (maybe not all) "grow" out of that?? I have no idea...but it has opened a good place for dialog-wish me well!

Carol in FL - hoping that Ike goes AWAY!!

Chinazhoumom said...

oops that was K's adoption not - L??

Samantha said...

I am thrilled you listed this blog on APC! I am reading through old posts and feel I can learn alot. My daughter will be 2 in 10 days.

Wendy said...

So glad to see everyone! Hello!

mimifrancoise said...

When Zoe asked her "honeymoon" question, I made certain to have a neutral look on my face since I did not want to convey the idea that she can't ask certain questions. I was certainly taken aback but simply answered "yes" and left it at that. I am not prude and in my work I have heard more, (shall we say, unusual information) than most people ever hear. But it is a bit enerving to hear it from my 6 y/o granddaughter! That child has so many questions. And I don't want her to be given out books to find information she seeks.

malinda said...

Thanks, everybody! I needed that!

Yes, the making-babies talk is unnerving, and it surprised me that it came up when we started talking about adoption. I guess it makes sense, though. Before kids can figure out what it means to be adopted, they have to figure out what it means to be born.

And Zoe has ALWAYS asked hard questions WAY before I expected them!

malinda said...

Carol, that's interesting that your daughter connected up China-being Chinese when watching the video. With the video, I bet the concept was too abstract. Now, it'll sink in!

Hope you've been safe in all the hurricanes this season, and good luck with Hurricane Ike!

malinda said...

Maya was adopted at 18 months, which is too young to feel the same connection to her foster family/China as your daughter adopted at 3.5 years. That's great that she has transitioned so well, and I think it probably is because you've let her have the space to have two homes and two families who love her (I think I know who you are (didn't see you at Chinese School today, though!) and can attest that Kaylee and Emily are delightful, smart, well-adjusted girls!

malinda said...

Welcome, Samantha! And happy birthday to your daughter -- Maya's birthday is September 15!

malinda said...


I think you handled Zoe's question perfectly -- better than I would have, since I would have fainted dead away! Still, we had a long talk that night about NOT asking people that -- I could just see her asking her pregnant first grade teacher all about her wedding night!!!!

Just1More said...

Hi, Great blog! I intend to put you on my list of daily blogs to check. My daughter, adopted from China at 18 months, has just turned 3. I talk to her about "her story" but she isn't to the question asking stage yet. I can see the wheels turning in her mind, though. We're hoping to go to China in Nov or Dec to adopt a 5 yr. old boy who is currently in foster care. His life experience will be entirely different and he may ask questions as soon as he learns to communicate with us! I read your post about your early feelings of fear that your daughter would love her birth parents or foster parents more than you and have to admit that I had similar feelings. I think many of us have to "mature" in this adventure of growing our families through adoption. I know my eyes have been opened on many topics through my discussions with other adoptive parents and by reading everything I can. Thanks for starting this blog!

malinda said...

just1more: thanks for posting! You've had some good experience doing the "adoption talk" with your 3-year-old. I really felt fortunate that I could practice on my kids before they were old enough to really get it. By the time they were able to understand "their story" I had smoothed out the rough places, played around with different language, reorganized, patted it into shape, so that by the time they could understand, I felt I was explaining it all absolutely the best I could!

All that practice will hold you in good stead with your new son, even if he asks questions right away. What an adventure in front of you!