Saturday, September 20, 2008

Is it possible?

Is it possible to find birth parents in China? Brian Stuy says yes:
In summary, locating birth parents in China is possible if the circumstances are right. Private finding locations such as residences and small stores have a high degree of success. Finding locations in small villages also bring a good degree of success. Seeking local hospital records might provide information, but these inquiries must be made quickly before records are archived or destroyed. But adoptive families must also remember that even when the search proves successful, the birth parents might leave the discovered door closed and locked, unwilling to allow the connection to be made.

Jane Leidtke says yes:

I have watched the faces of the parents who attend my talks about “What’s in an
Orphanage File” as they listen to what information is inside (and sometimes not inside) the file. I see interest and agony as we discuss how information in the file can lead to finding the abandonment site. We sigh a collective sigh of grief when we discuss the notes and messages found within the files. And, I see huge tears fall from both moms and dads as I share the story of one family who followed the trail and how that trail led them down a special village path, to the door of their daughter’s abandonment site, to the people who found her and that those people know her birthparents.

I remember talking to Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation and director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a few years ago, and bemoaning the fact that it just wasn't possible in China to find birth parents. I can still hear his answer echoing in my ears: "That's what they told Korean adoptees thirty years ago. You want to bet that in thirty years we'll find out that the government of China knows much more about birth parents than they're letting on?" What an intriguing thought!

So, perhaps it could be done. But should it be done? How does one decide? I'll post more later, but your thoughts right now?


zoe'sfriendsyd said...

If I could find out who my daughter's birth parents are, I would. Just so I could have this information for her should she ask. I just wonder how China could know more about the birth parents than they let on? It would have to be a made up story .... "found abandoned, taken to the police station...after X amount of time in searching for....the infant was taken to X orphanage..."

malinda said...

How could China know about birth parents? You're right, it would mean that there's a whole made-up story about abandonment, and the police and everyone else would be in on it. A stretch of the imagination maybe, but I can't say I'd be surprised if it turned out to be true! And I'm not even a conspiracy buff!

Wendy said...

As you know I absolutely would. I have not decided to what extent I would have them a part of M's life as I feel it is her decision to make, not mine. However, at this point she wants to know so I think I would share what I knew without allowing them contact--all her and how much contact she wants. Of course this is all hypothetical and once and if it happened I know things would change and I would probably allow anything M wanted! lol

I believe we can find them. People, unless dead, do not disappear and nothing happens in a vacuum--someone knows, someone was there, someone will remember, adn someone has our answers. I am not sure I believe the orphanage knows who they are, but I am not convinced those at the abandonment site, the police who found her, etc are being totally open. Hmmm.