While I drove her to school, Zoe asked me what I was going to blog about today (she seems really to love that I'm blogging about her!), and I told her I was trying to decide what to write about. I asked her what advice she had for kids like her who were wondering about their birth parents.
Zoe: I'd tell them that they should ask their moms about their birth parents.
Me: But what if they get frustrated like you do, because their moms don't know much about their birth parents?
Zoe: I'd tell them that sometimes parents don't know answers to all the questions, but it's ok to ask anyway.
Me: What advice would you give kids if they got mad or sad when thinking about their birth parents?
Zoe: They should talk to their parents about their feelings. Or maybe to their Mimi or Grandpa.
Me: When did you start thinking and wondering about your birth parents?
Zoe: When I was five. (She said it with such assurance, like she really knew definitively when it was, but I'm not sure she does).
Me: Before we went to live in China? Before we went to get Maya?
Zoe: Before we went to get Maya. (she was 4.5 when we went to get Maya)
Me: What did you first wonder about them?
Zoe: I wondered what they looked like, what their faces looked like.
Me: What do you think they look like?
Zoe: Like my face, I think.
Me: What advice would you give to kids who wonder what their birth parents look like?
Zoe: They could look in a mirror. And then they could use their imagination.
Me: I think you're a really smart cookie.
I'm really astonished by how mature Zoe is becoming! This summer has been a huge growth period for her emotionally. I wonder if the maturity has come from dealing with her adoption issues, or whether the maturity allowed her to deal with her issues. In any event, I'm in awe of how wonderfully she is handling all of this. Yes, she gets angry, and frustrated, and melancholy -- but as long as she's talking, I'm thrilled.
(The picture is from her graduation from Xiada kindergarden (in China). It just seemed appropriate to illustrate my smart cookie's advice column!)