Monday, April 12, 2010

Ten Things Birth Mothers Want Adoptive Parents to Know

Check out the list at Adoption Under One Roof from a birth mother in an open adoption, and let me know what you think. Here are a few that resonated with me:

5. I hope that you will teach my child about her beginnings - about where she was born and who I am.

6. I hope you will teach respect to my child by showing respect for me in your discussions.

7. I wish I could be there to answer my child's questions about adoption, but I trust you to answer them truthfully as best you can.

8. I will never stop thinking about my child. She will always be a part of who I am.

1 comment:

Wendy said...

I appreciate you linking the entire list and discussion; however, what you have mentioned most definitely strikes a chord regardless of any adoption situation. Children deserve the truth and to have their heritage and birth families respected. I also was so happy to see mention of extended family members, our current situation has proved a very good relationship with extended first family members even though her birth parents are hestitant. Extended family member await the arrival of the child as well and experience loss as well.

I agree with most adoption experts that we should not make up fantasy stories or tell a child things we their birth mothers think as fact when we do not know, there are situations when the story of love does not ring as true, but for me (before, but especially now knowing some of that truth) it is important for a child to know that the decision was not a light one and that every mother does think of her child.