Friday, October 31, 2008

Talking Adoption

I'm always looking for adoption conversations, especially reports of the actual words used. That's why I love it when y'all share your conversations in the comments! Here's a snippet from an article I ran across:

He says his daughters are “as American as anybody else” but says he talks to them openly about their Chinese heritage and their birth parents.

Cara [age 6] has already started to ask some tough questions.

“Once in a while you get asked ‘Why would my birth mommy not want me?’ And you try to explain that they made the choice that they couldn’t raise you but they wanted the best for you. So what they actually did was in your best interest,” Childs says.

Click here to read more about this family's adoptions.


sisterheping said...

"And you try to explain that they made the choice that they couldn’t raise you"

I will have to disagree with this. And I'm sorry about my bluntness but there's no other way of putting it.

What "choice" is there if you can only have these options on the table:

A) Give up your child due to the OCP?

B) Give up your home (to keep your child) and still potentially have your home destroyed or be charged a criminal offence for having a daughter (with no son)?

I do not see how there is a real "choice" here.

Wendy said...

I agree to some degree, but my child has limb difference. I have talked to the officer who came to get her after the call that she was left. I have spoke with citizens from her area of finding.
The OCP did not mean a thing in relation to my child; however, finances may have, but more than likely it is due to discrimination. Sadly, her family may have wanted to keep her or they could have been ready to let her go due to her being a liability; she would have faced a lifetime of ridicule, no education, and no future of family and marriage. However, she could have stayed with her family, it is not unknown.
I will not tell her either way as I just don't know. I don't know if they thought she was bad luck or if they loved her dearly and wished they lived in a world that would accept her.
I see the choice, although a hard one; not every sn child is abandoned. I tell her we don't know the reason they could not care for her--it is her truth.