There is a lot of talk, when the subject comes up, about not judging. I get that. People deserve help for their kids and themselves. No, I can’t imagine walking in some of their shoes. But the judging is not all about them or individual caseworkers doing their best; it’s a reaction to the idea that you can take this on, walk away when it gets tough, and then bond with other people publicly over your “badly bungled adoptions” boo-hoo because the system is usually there for you and might even hand you another child. Meanwhile, it sure feels like the kids are taking a back seat to everyone else’s needs.
It’s interesting. Nobody even gets glory points for sticking by their handicapped kids or children with autism, including the hard-to-raise kids, the ones they call the wrecking ball disguised as a boy. Most definitely, nobody gets a lollipop for divorcing them. The fact that it’s allowed to happen in adoption says something the industry and about attitudes to adopted kids that we may be reluctant to acknowledge.
1 month ago