Monday, August 10, 2009

Adopting Teens

A very touching letter to older kids being adopted, from a girl adopted at age 13 from China:

My name is Honour Grace. I came from China in August 2008, when I was almost 14 years old. I would like to tell you my story because I heard you might too be adopted by a foreign family soon.

When I got adopted, my Momshowed me a beautiful song called "She's a Butterfly." A few times when I lived in China, I felt like a butterfly but most times I felt like I was in a cocoon. In America, I always feel like a butterfly. Now I can feel my true colors, who I am, what I like, what I can do, where I can go. I can feel my heart.

* * *

I also like to stay up late talking with Mom and Dad. They want to know everything about my life. They ask me many questions about my life in China. It makes me happy to share because they really care about me, and it helps them understand my heart more. I like it because they know that my new life in America was not the start of my life. They respect the life I had when I was in China though my problems there make their hearts hurt. They wanted to look at every picture I had — when I was ready to share with them. They wanted to know all about my friends. I liked that they let me burst out of the cocoon in my time.

* * *

The best thing is when you are sad, there are people who will help you and listen to you and hug you. You don't have to ever be sad by yourself. The orphanage people can help you grow, go to school, get food, but they cannot stay with you forever. Maybe the auntie will get married or retire. Someday you have to leave the orphanage by yourself. Maybe you will be all alone then. But having a real family of your very own is always better than staying in the orphanage. You will never be alone then. A family is a treasure, take good care of the gift. If you open up your heart, it will be easy.


Mahmee said...

I found myself a little choked up there. That was lovely.

Chinazhoumom said...

Did you see this?

Carol in FL

Jeff and Madeline said...

I could not get the link to work.

malinda said...

Sorry, Wendy, not sure what the problem is. Here's the url if you want to cut and paste that into your browser:

Hope that works for you!

Jeff and Madeline said...

Sorry Malinda, that one did work. It was Chinazhoumom's that I couldn't get to work.


Anonymous said...

This is a very touching story. God bless the Buscemi family and all of you wonderful APs. I think early child hardships have brought out maturity in this girl. She sounds so much more mature and appreciative than most kids growing up in affluence. At the end of the day, saving lives, sharing lives and giving those children a future is way more important than keeping culure or heritage. Great job, Malinda.

Jeff and Madeline said...

Speaking for myself only, but I know many of you feel the same way, anon--I know your heart is in the right place, but AP's are no more wonderful than any other parents, 1st, 2nd, 3rd...we are just parents. We love our children as any other parents do. I don't think most of us go into adopting to "save" (although there are some that do), we adopt to be parents.
Continuing any discussion that involved us being wonderful or implying some sort of rescue only continues all we are fighting against.
Yes, this is a touching story and I am so happy that this girl has found happiness with her new family, as she says her parents do not try and erase her past and/or diminish her life in China. That is the main point, AP's and adoption are not all that is or represents a child or adult adoptee, it is a part of their story.
I know the comment is well-meaning, however, she (and no other child who was adopted) does not need to be appreciative for being adopted.