Now that my work presentation is over, I can now share as I promised the comments of the adult adoptee and the adoptive parent on the birth mother panel I attended last month. Since the focus was on the birth mothers, the other participants didn't really have that much to say. But I'll share what they did tell us. I'll start with the adult adoptee, and post later about what the adoptive mom had to say.
The adult adoptee was originally from Korea and grew up in Texas. He is now in his 20s and in graduate school. He visited Korea with his adoptive parents when he was 10, as part of a homeland tour. He met his half-sister then, and learned that his birth mother had died, as had a half-brother. He confessed he hasn't done a very good job of keeping in touch with his half-sister. He said that most of his questions had been answered when he was 10, and it was enough for him to know that he could contact her if he wanted or needed more.
He was asked what adoption meant to him, and his answer was, "Opportunity." He also said that knowing his birth mother or birth family "wasn't that big a deal to me." He said he viewed himself as the son of his adoptive parents, and that was that. But when the birth mothers spoke, he was listening VERY intently. I wonder if he is as indifferent as he claimed. . . .
Still hoping for change
4 weeks ago