When I found out I was single and pregnant, like others, I was faced with an important decision: Do I keep the child or adopt the child out? I knew from the day I discovered that I was pregnant that there was no way I could not know my child. That child was a part of me and always would be. So my choice was between raising the child myself and finding a way to have an open adoption. Of course, this was before I took Adoption Law and found out that most open adoptions are not enforceable in a court of law.
When my parents discovered that I was pregnant they came to me and told me that they would support any decision that I made, even if they did not agree with it. I told them that the only decisions I would consider were an open adoption or keeping the child and raising the child on my own. Over the next couple of days my parents talked and then re-approached me. They told me that if I chose adoption, they wanted to adopt the child so that I could still be “mom.”
I realize that not many people are as blessed as I am to have such wonderful parents who would do this for them and stand by them regardless of their decisions in life. This, however, made my decision all the more difficult. There was a child growing inside of me and that was a part of me. I knew that if my parents had adopted my child, he/she would be well taken care of and grow up in a very loving home. I knew that my parents were better able to provide for my child than I was at the time. As time went on, and I began to experience the pregnancy and the flutters and movements of the child, I fell completely in love with my child, even before birth. I knew I would never be able to give my child up at that point.
I had to try and was lucky enough to have parents that would help me and support me through the experience. I realize that not everyone has as supportive of a family as I have. However, I believe that even if my family were not supportive I would have made the same decision: to keep my child. I have nothing against adoption. In fact, adoption is very cherished within my family. I have several family members and friends who have been adopted. Yes, having the parents that I have did make the decision easier, but there is no way that I ever would have been able to give my child up.
The Angrier Adoptee, part 1
1 week ago