Talking about adoption, birthparents, abandonment, race, and China with my kids. That's not all we talk about -- but reading this blog, you'll think it's all we do!!!!!
I just finished watching the last 30 minutes of this documentary online. All I can is "WOW." Once again, another gracious adoptive family, allowing the cameras to roll when their world is turned upsidedown. Again, it takes a lot of guts. But it is so important for us adoptive parents to watch these documentaries, as I believe some of us will go through similar situations when our children become teens. I went through a sort of identity crisis when I was a teen and I'm not adopted. So I believe things like this will definitely happen for some us and have already happened to some us adoptive parents. Although at times the adoptive moms may not have been viewed in the best light, I think they handled the situation of not knowing their daughter's whereabouts, as best as one could. It made me wonder how I would handle such a situation if I were in their shoes. As a mother, my heart broke for them but I think they handled it the best way, by backing off and giving Avery her space. This is definitely a film I think all adoptive parents should see.
Hmm, this sounds interesting. I might find somewhere online that I can watch it, as I'm sure it probably won't be screened here.
It's sad to think we parents) may not always be able to keep our children close while they figure out who they are and who they want to be. But as anonymous said, that happens in birth families too. I feel especially angst-y about the thought of the baby who needed a family before I brought her home, being out in the world alone again. I think this may be what bothers most adoptive parents about this - the thought that our kids may be essentially "orphaned" again is hard to swallow.Hopefully, there would be a family member or a trusted family friend who could do some respite while the family works through their issues and not completely break the family bonds during these difficult times. I was really happy to see Avery connect with a transracially adopted counselor. I think our kids need LOTS of people who get it to help them.
I was finally able to watch this movie. I found it very interesting, especially watching Avery learn about what being black is from her peers.I have to admit at one point, I felt like I was missing something. It went from close, supportive family to all of a sudden a "troubled" family....but I never really saw the road there. Maybe the cameras weren't running during the fights. I really felt like her adoptive moms were being very supportive. I think much of her needing to go off on her own for a while was just something she needed to do to find herself--and I can understand that. I think it is possible she imagined the tensions at home or exaggerated them. But at the same time, it is an edited movie and I really cannot judge their lives. The race aspect fascinated me the most--and as always I learned more.
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