Adult adoptees, rather than birth parents, are typically the individuals who initiate the searches, Ms. Gehring said, because birth mothers don't feel that they have the right to do so. Adoptees -- typically in their late 20s to mid-30s -- will look into finding their birth parent when they have reached a point of stability in their own lives, perhaps after a marriage or the birth of a child.
The process of locating and reconnecting families is not speedy. "It's not a matter of finding people and putting them together right away," Ms. Gehring said. "We want to make sure that it's a relationship that will be conducive."
Before the search for a birth parent can even begin, Ms. Gehring or another social worker meets with the adult adoptee to assess readiness to begin such a search.
"It really is like a roller-coaster ride. A lot of emotions are involved, be it joy, happiness, oppression, anger, elation. It can be any number of reactions throughout the journey of the search itself," Ms. Gehring said.
Many times, Ms. Gehring said, adoptees such as Ms. White are looking to find missing pieces of their backgrounds, pieces that those who are not adopted take for granted, such as access to medical records and information about skill sets.
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1 comment:
Sounds like I'm a bit of the exception. I knew I wanted to find my bio famly at a very young age. Once I turned 18, my parents gave me my paperwork and I started making phone calls, signing papers, etc. After a year and 1/2 of daily phone calls to social services, I found my bio mom, who later put me in touch with my bio dad. I was 19 when I met them. Got married when I was 21 (divorced by the time I was 25). Finding my bio family wasn't a huge roller coaster for me. It actually put me at peace. It answered all those questions that swirl around adoptees' heads daily.
Great answer to your daughter. Knowing my parents supported my search 100% was just what I needed.
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