The other day Madison said to me, “Lucia looks like you.”
Lucia is my niece and Madison is right — Lucia does look like me. She looks exactly like my sister and my sister and I don’t look that alike but we must a little because
Lucia looks just like my sister and a little like me. She definitely has my coloring. So I agreed with Madison. Then she said, “And I don’t like it! I want to look like you!”
I told her the truth.
“Well, I’m glad you don’t look like me because you’re prettier than I am.”
“Oh Mommy! You’re pretty, too,” she told me.
“I am,” I agreed. “I am very good looking but you are better looking. You’re downright beautiful. I love having such a beautiful daughter.”
Then we hugged a bunch and she seemed satisfied.
Zoe's first I-want-to-look-like-you conversation was actually really funny. She was 3, and had gotten her hair cut short and looked adorable. We're driving (always in the car, these conversations!), and she says, "I want to get a hair cut again." I explained she just got a hair cut and we wouldn't get another one for weeks and weeks. She replied, "But I want my hair like yours." Mine was super-short, and I answered, "Oh, sweetie, you don't want yours as short as mine!" Her immediate reply, "No! I want it to be GRAY!" Ouch!
I was talking to a friend today and another alike/difference issue came up. Her daughter, adopted from China, seems to be in a rejection phase when it comes to her birth mother. She insists that her adopted mom is her "only mom." As we talked, she mentioned that her daughter describes her birth mother (who, of course, is completely unknown to her) as wearing a flowered dress and high heels, and having long hair.
We were speculating about where this description came from, and I asked my friend, "When was the last time you wore a flowered dress and high heels (being pretty sure I knew what the answer was!)?" And the immediate answer was "long before my daughter came home from China." Aha! I'm thinking her daughter is making sure her birth mom and adopted mom are in separate boxes, being completely different from each other. (As you know, I'm not a psychologist, I only play one on blogs!)
So how has being alike/being different come up in your household? Please share your conversations in the comments.