When you say...
Wish I'd said it!
- you don't think you should have to deal with birth parents after the adoption is done;
- you're sometimes grateful your child was abandoned with no information, because that way it's like his history starts with you;
- you don't believe in openness because it is uncomfortable;
- that birth parents should be able move on with their lives, knowing that their child is loved and safe with you;
- that speaking ill of your daughter's first parents has no effect on her, since they're not her family anymore;
- you know your child is fine with her adoption because she never brings it up;
- you never talk about adoption in your family because it's an event that's done and in the past...
what I hear is that you became a parent through adoption, but you don't really want to be an adoptive parent.
4 comments:
I agree. Sadly, I hear those same sentiments from AP's at group get-togethers. I "correct"/"inform", but honestly there is a segment of our population that is just not open to understanding their kids or the triad/square.
"you're sometimes grateful your child was abandoned with no information, because that way it's like his history starts with you"
The number of P/APs who still insist on thinking that way make me shudder.
Just because you don't know your child's pre-adoption history doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It definitely existed. You just don't know what it is!
I don't know if I agree that a person who exhibits these traits doesn't "want to be an adoptive parent." I view it more as a person in need of adoption education. Perhaps they love their child very deeply, but are narrow minded / have blinders on.... in need of serious reforming.
sad I agree.
Post a Comment