When you say...
Wish I'd said it!
- you don't think you should have to deal with birth parents after the adoption is done;
- you're sometimes grateful your child was abandoned with no information, because that way it's like his history starts with you;
- you don't believe in openness because it is uncomfortable;
- that birth parents should be able move on with their lives, knowing that their child is loved and safe with you;
- that speaking ill of your daughter's first parents has no effect on her, since they're not her family anymore;
- you know your child is fine with her adoption because she never brings it up;
- you never talk about adoption in your family because it's an event that's done and in the past...
what I hear is that you became a parent through adoption, but you don't really want to be an adoptive parent.