After serious consideration, we have decided to cancel our Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 contest. Our Top 25 program is meant to celebrate, connect, and support mom bloggers. Following some feedback from participants in our 2011 contest, we decided to make this year's Top 25 more inclusive. In doing so, we unknowingly stepped into a very sensitive issue and debate, and we apologize to all the moms who have been offended, no matter what your position on adoption is.What the heck are they talking about, I hear you cry?! Well, maybe you read my post about Circle of Moms removing Cassi's blog, Adoption Truth, from the contest because they didn't find her sufficiently "positive" and "supportive" of adoption. I wasn't the only one who was offended by that action (see here and here and here and here and here and here, well, you get the idea!). So, it was all of us "anti-adoption" folks complaining about that action by Circle of Moms that led to cancellation of the contest?
Not exactly! It was more like some of the other adoption bloggers yelling, "The invaders are coming, the invaders are coming," and insisting that Circle of Moms circle the wagons to keep out anyone they disagreed with.
Apparently, the activist blogs which were rising in the rankings were “a few bad apples [that] ruin the batch.” The only reality allowed in an adoption blog contest is "the reality that adoption is a loving response to a tragic reality" which "we as an adoption community [should] come together and truly embrace." Yes, those are all actual quotes from disgruntled bloggers bemoaning that adoptee and birth mother blogs ruined the contest! Oh, and you have got to see the screen grab from one of the contestant's public facebook page that Linda has at Real Daughter! "I am happy to report some of the more offensive anti-adoption blogs have been removed from this list." AND "I really don't want to see any of these negative on adoption blogs at the top of the list . . . so pisses me off."
So, the contest ended. Yet another incident illustrating the enforced orthodoxy of adoption talk. Only positive, glorifying, happy talk is allowed. Too bad that that party line does such a disservice to others who may feel differently about adoption. I'll say it again: "when adoptive parents ignore the hard truth that their experience of adoption is not the same experience as their adopted children and their birth families, when they ignore the hard truths about corruption and trafficking, they are doing damage not just to their children, but to the institution of adoption as well."
Yes, this is all just a silly little blog contest designed to draw traffic to Circle of Moms. But it cast light on this ridiculous orthodoxy where nothing negative can be said about adoption without consequences. You get kicked out of the circle, you get called a "bad apple." You're chastised for not recognizing that there can be only ONE reality about adoption, and it certainly isn't the one you're talking about. You PISS OFF those who disagree with you. And when you start drawing attention, the forum for your viewpoint has to be shut down -- for fear you might actually cause folks to see adoption as the complex, multi-layered, fraught-with-problems institution is actually is.
Circle the wagons, keep out any dissenting viewpoint!
Again, thanks to all for your votes! Too bad the contest wasn't as worthy as you all are!