Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Adoptive Families Blog List

Well, the Adoptive Families blog list is out on the web! I didn't realize when I posted about it this weekend how short the list was -- just 20. And I didn't know what good company I would be keeping!  A number of the blogs listed are already on my blog roll. 

This is what they had to say about Adoption Talk:
The tagline of Malinda's blog, "Talking about adoption, birthparents, abandonment, race, and China with my kids," nicely sums up what she covers. She tackles these topics head-on in intelligent, well-written posts. After every visit, you'll close your browser with something to think about.
I'm really flattered, especially by that last part -- about the blog giving you something to think about -- because truly that's my goal, giving readers a chance to think about their beliefs, feelings, perspectives, when it comes to adoption.  I don't really care if I persuade anyone to think about things my way, so long as I make them think.
Though grateful to be included, I'm ultimately a little disappointed with the blog list.  The list only includes one birth mother blog (the excellent and deserving Chronicles of Munchkin Land) and one adoptee blog (the excellent and equally deserving Declassified Adoptee).  I think Adoptive Families lost an opportunity to give their readers food for thought by including more blogs from non-adoptive parent members of the adoption triad. Maybe that's too much to ask from a magazine focused on adoptive families. . . .
Please check out my blog roll categories for blogging birth parents and adult adoptees if you're looking for real food for thought.


Amanda said...

You're right. My blog roll is also full of Adult Adoptees and First Parents as well. Plenty of people to follow! Please check them out <3

Lanie said...

I'm sorry you were disappointed about their selection. I am included for the first time and I am very honored as a waiting adoptive family. I on my own have found several adult adoptees and birth parent blogs and love the writing of those amazing women.

Amanda said...

Malinda does make an excellent point. For adoption to be child-centered, it would make sense that more Adult Adoptees who were once those children would be included. I think adoption should also care about the impact it has on original families, naturally including more First Mother voices.

Adoptees not being well represented and sought out as voices in adoption has been a problem in American adoption for a century now.

In the early 1950's Jean Patton said:

"Everyone except the adopted has been talking about adoption. About certain parts of adoption, the parts that can be seen and the parts that can be heard. The rest is silence--or was.

What other human institution has so little comment from those within it? Of what other group is so much said from without and so little from within? How has it been that the adopted seem to have had nothing to say, whereas it is conspicuous herein that they have waited only for an invitation, and that their thoughts have been long?"

In the early 1970's the CWLA said:
"Adult adoptees are a primary source for knowledge about adoption as an institution. Their perceptions are unique, for adult adoptees are actually the only persons who can tell us what it is like to live adoption in a society in which most people are not adopted."

Lots of people can say things about adoption. Only an adoptee can tell you what it is like to live it every single day of their lives.

malinda said...

Lanie, I wouldn't want to take away from anyone listed. Congratulations for being listed!But did the list have to be only 20blogs?! Make it a list of 50 and include more voices!

Amanda -- the Patton quote reminds me so much of Virginia Woolf, where she finds in a visit to the library that the only qualification for writing about the condition of women was to be a man.

Heather said...

I think there are two adoptee blogs, since one of the adoptive parents is herself an adoptee. But I completely agree with your critique. I'm honored to be listed, flattered by the company, and disappointed there weren't more first parent or adoptee writers included.

I would love to see Adoption Mosaic do their top 20 in a future Constellation issue.

birthmothertalks said...

I see them listing mostly adoptive couples on the list as their way of wanting everyone to believe that adoption is all sunshine and butterflies and not the truth of adoption that it's so much more than the happy side of adoption. For an adoption to take place and create a family... someone else family is falling apart and I can imagine that it's a hard pill to swallow.

Reena said...

Congratulations Malinda and others whose blogs were listed!

Having offered my congratulations--

"I see them listing mostly adoptive couples on the list as their way of wanting everyone to believe that adoption is all sunshine and butterflies and not the truth of adoption that it's so much more than the happy side of adoption"

I agree. Adoptive Families magazine contains A LOT of ads from Adoption Agencies-- the kind that can make you cringe. Talk about playing on a person's heart strings-- if you are a PAP and really sickening other members of the mosaic who view adoption more holistically than just "A great way to build a family."

As a subscriber and AP, I often wonder how that kind of support effects/skews the magazine's decisions about what to publish.

Amanda's blog, Declassified Adoptee has a great blog roll! Grown in my Heart website also lists many blogs by categories (AP, Adoptee, First Family, Countries).

a Tonggu Momma said...

I agree. I was and am thrilled to be included - I feel quite honored, actually - but I also felt disappointed to see so few adult adoptee and first parent blogs. (And that's not to take away from the blogs included, as several are already in my reader and I am looking forward to checking out those unknown to me.)

Jenna said...

I just got home from a very emotional day at a birth mother meeting. I didn't know the list was published this past week. I'm behind on things -- crazy deadline week.

I'm kind of in shock that I'm the only birth parent. I don't quite know what to make of it.

I'll ponder it some for a post in the near future. (PS: Thank you for your kind words.)