Monday, June 28, 2010

FAQs for APs

This article has a social worker, a psychotherapist, and/or an adoptive parent answering the following questions that adoptive parents may have:

When should I talk to my child about adoption?

My adopted child is starting school. Should I tell the teacher he is adopted?

What advice should I give my child about talking to his friends about adoption?

What if someone asks intrusive questions about the adoption that I don't want to answer?

My child feels rejected because their birth parents didn't want them. What do I do?

I have both adopted and biological kids, how I do help ensure a happy blended family?

My adopted child doesn't look like me. How do I answer questions like 'Where did he get that hair or those eyes'?

How do I get my extended family to treat my adopted child like the other kids?

What happens if my child wants to search for his birth parents?
Not much new there, but a good refresher course for adoptive parents. How would you answer the questions if offering advice to an adoptive parent?  Do you disagree with any of the answers given by the "experts?"


Anonymous said...

I always find it interesting that an adult adoptee is not asked to answer these questions.

It seems that WE would be the source of first-hand information.

Von said...

Interesting point made there by Anon and one I wonder about myself quite frequently but then I know the wants to hear the truth or the real answers.

Tina said...

Actually I think Malinda did just ask - how about answering?

LisaLew said...

The article states:
"What advice should I give my child about talking to his friends about adoption?

If it comes up and the child feels comfortable talking about it, then they should talk about it, but if they don't want to talk about it, that's OK too, Becker says.

'Sometimes, as a child gets older and enters their teen years, they don't want to be set apart, and they may not want to talk about it. And that's OK," she said. "It's a non-issue in many ways. It's just part of who they are." '

A non-issue in many ways? Interesting - I get what she is saying, but I wouldn't call it a "non-issue" in any form.

The assumption here is that their peers are not pressuring the teens with questions.
I'd like to hear more about the WISE techniques in this article, giving adoptees empowerment to deal with difficult (sometimes rude) questions from peers.

LisaLew said...

PS I don't like the "they are real enough for me" comment.... sounds self centered or is that just me being sensitive?