Anger seems to be associated quite closely to adoption and, in particular, adoptees. We seem to be rather infamous for being the most angry participants of the adoption triad. People like to say that we should “just” get over our anger, and that we should “just” focus on the lives we’ve been adopted into, instead of focusing on what we’ve lost. It seems so two dimensional when viewed in this way.She also does a great job of addressing the "why" question -- why are adoptees angry? She lists 7 reasons for why she is angry, while also noting that being angry about one's adoption doesn't mean that anger is an all-consuming issue:
I was a very angry teenager. I don’t really know why. All I really remember of my teen years were constantly being angry at those around me, particularly my parents. And I’m not really sure what I was angry at. Was it “misplaced anger” that is mentioned in others’ blogs? What/who was/am I really angry at? Is it unfair to say that I was angry at my adoptive parents, or was I just taking my anger at something/one else when it was really about someone/thing else entirely?
I can’t really answer the above questions. But I’m not going to deny that I have anger around my adoption and those involved in it.
Like I’ve said time and time again, we’re human. We do have lives, and we do have lives that have nothing to do with our being adopted. I don’t sit around moping all day about the things I’ve lost in being adopted. And yes, I do celebrate the life I have here. But I guess it’s like living in a limbo: although my adopted life is wonderful and fortunate, there are still things missing from me as a human being that are a struggle to regain. I’m not perfect, either, so anger is just one of those human emotions that is going to rear its ugly head at times.Go read the whole thing! If you blog, why not keep the conversation going by addressing adoption and anger at your blog? What about this question -- are adoptive parents angry about adoption? We often attribute anger to adoptees and birth parents, but what about adoptive parents?