Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Telling Maya Her Story

Zoe and Maya woke up before me this morning (we're on vacation -- no alarms!). In the old days, that would mean they'd crawl into bed with me and snuggle. Now, they sneak into the family room to watch cartoons or play on the computer. I miss those days of snuggling, no matter how much I grumbled then about those crack-of-dawn visits!

Every once in a while, Maya will still come to snuggle -- usually, when Zoe has done something to make her mad. That was the case this morning, when mean big sister wouldn't let her plow on Farmville!

Maya and I cuddle, and I sympathize at the extreme cruelty of big sister (not!), and Maya tells me I'm the best mom ever. Then she adds, "All of my moms are best moms!" Wow, this is a big deal -- Maya hardly ever initiates conversations about her birth mom or her foster mom. In fact, she hardly ever initiates any discussion about adoption at all.

But this morning, she was ready to talk. She wanted to know about why her birth mother could not keep her. Of course, she's heard a lot of this before in discussions with Zoe, but this time she WANTED to know. As usual, I had to tell her I didn't know, but that here are some of the reasons (in age-appropriate language) children in China end up in the orphanage -- one child policy, poverty, illness, etc.

We talked about the fact that she was very small when she was found (4 pounds), and that maybe she was born earlier than she was supposed to be, and that it would have been very expensive to take care of her as a baby because of this. We talked about the fact that the information we have said she was found in front of the Women's & Children's Hospital, and that that was a good choice for a sick baby. We talked about her stay at one orphanage and her transfer to another orphanage because she was so sick, and then her stay with her foster family who took care of her so well. We talked about the orphanage sending her paperwork to CCAA to find a forever family for her. And just when I was starting the part of her story where Zoe and Mimi and I went to China to get her, she said, "Wow, I had a lot of people in China who loved me and took good care of me!" What a great realization. . . .

As I said, this isn't the first time Maya has heard all of this, but I realized it was probably the first time she and I had a chance to talk about it without Zoe being there and adding her input! I'm so glad we had that opportunity to talk. And I think Maya is glad, too.


Wendy said...

I am glad she got her alone time with you. Perhaps she just wants her privacy and knowing the girls stories are different she doesn't want to take away from Zoe, and yet wants to understand her story as individual and possibly private.
I am sure you will have many more discussions to come.

Mei Ling said...

Out of curiousity, what are the girls' Chinese names?

Louanne said...

That is really sweet.