Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Santa Won the Adoption Lottery

At, Lanita M. blogs about the Christmas special, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and the fact that Santa was a foundling adopted by the Kringle family. I've also noted the adoption theme in that program,  And I should have also noted then that the adoption by the Kringle family is clearly a closed/secret adoption -- the baby is found with a necklace engraved with the name Claus.  But that name isn't shared with Kris until he's an adult. . . .

But what's really notable about the post is this:
Santa’s adoption story is not uncommon in the world of international adoption. A baby abandoned at birth, potentially destined for an unhappy life, until fate steps in and delivers the baby into the warm and loving arms of a family. Santa grows up tall and red headed in a house of elves, where his differences are celebrated. It sounds a bit like Elle or Bunny’s adoption story.

My family has always told Elle and Bunny they won the adoption lottery the day they were adopted. I’m not sure the girls would entirely agree, especially when they have been naughty, but they were one of the lucky ones. So many children around the world don’t get adopted.
Won the "adoption lottery?!"  Lucky they were adopted, unlike so many children around the world who won't get adopted?  Nothing like enforced gratitude and survivor's guilt, all in one pretty Christmas pudding . . . .

What would you do if your family told your adopted children that they had won the adoption lottery?


Linda said...

I heard people say that over the years to my ap's. They would respond with, "WE were the lucky ones." Although, Im sure there were days, especially when I was yelling, "You're not my REAL Mom", when they questioned that, lol.

There is no lottery when it comes to adoption. Even if I had been adopted by Oprah herself, I would have still been sad about my losses as I played with every toy imaginable.

Same goes for ap's. Adoption is a crap shoot- you never know what you're going to get. Even the prettiest, smartest,most loyal children have losses most could never handle.

It seems like all the most beloved shows have an "orphan hero".

Reena said...

Our family has a few interesting adotpion stories on all sides, so I would be surprised to ever hear anyone say this.

My MIL has used the phrase, "meant to be," with the best of intentions.

I did gently explain to her why those words are not good-- it wasn't 'meant to be' that our daughter's first mom/family is so oppressed by their government that they cannot choose how to grow their family.

It isn't "meant to be," for any child to be surrendered or abandoned.

These are all terrible, tragic, and incredibly sad things that happen.

In the best of worls it would not happen--
All children would be born to loving parents who would be able to care for them.

People who abuse and/or negelect children wouldn't be able to have them.

People who would be good and loving parents (not necessarily perfect parents) would be able to have children.

Tina said...

I'd beat them bloody - same as I did to the person who told my step daughter her daddy won the baby lottery on a one night stand. There are somethings that should just never be said to children.

It continuest ot amaze me that some people just don't get this!!

LisaLew said...

Total insensitivity.

There's a difference between "choosing" to be grateful for life's riches vs. being told exactly why one "must" be grateful.

Our society will assist our children enough with the grateful theme, why should we twist the knife?