Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"No better women than our Chinese girls"

I found this China Daily article, about some Chinese men preferring to marry Western women, interesting:
"Chinese man fancies Western woman" was the title of the personal ad Li Lei posted online, in which he asked if any Western "ladies (in Beijing) are open to a long-term and serious relationship with a Chinese guy". And by "long-term and serious", Li meant marriage.

Marriages between Chinese men and Western women in China are noticeably fewer than vice versa, so why is Li taking the road less traveled?

After studying for a combined five years in the Netherlands and United Kingdom, the 30-year-old Beijinger discovered he preferred the personality of Western European women. He considers them more independent than their Chinese counterparts, less girlish and more straightforward.

Li puts extra emphasis on the last attribute.

"That's something I really love. If they want something, they just tell you," he says in British-accented English, his boyish face lighting up. "Although it is the nature of a woman to want somebody to figure them out, the key factor is the degree."
But even more interesting and amusing and sometimes disturbing are the reader comments to the article:
How can a Chinese man with a mind of his own live together with a Western woman whom is reputed to be very outward too? The like poles of a magnet will oppose when the ends are placed close together. The unlike poles will attract. Human relations are like magnets. If one is hard, the other should be soft, then living together is possible. Of course having the same interest is quite another thing to compatibility.

* * *

With China's one child policy, little emperors are more than little empresses. Perhaps because of this, Chinese men may have to seek foreign brides. However, in my mind there are no better women than our own Chinese girls. One would not need to worry too much about lifestyle changes, adjustments to accommodate foreign spouses and of course, having to tolerate the culture differences.

* * *

We can learn foreign cultures but not invite foreign culture into our lives unnecessarily. I look at the kids of mixed marriages. What will become of them when they do not look Chinese nor American (as the children in this article showed). Looks may not be important but will they call themselves Chinese and be proud Chinese. Because the mother is American, it is most likely these Children are inclined to think Americanism than Chinese. It would be okay if both the Chinese father and the American mother make it a point to raise these beautiful kids to be very Chinese. But judging from the English names, I do not see this happening in this family.

* * *

I am a happily married person (of course with a Chinese wife). If there is reincarnation and I have a second chance I would still look for a Chinese wife. Luckily mixed marriage between Chinese man and foreign ladies are few in between. No I am not racist nor anti mixed marriages but I would prefer a distinct and identifiable Chinese race.

* * *

China is for the Chinese. Foreign wives must be willing to be integrated into being Chinese.


Anonymous said...

I think Chinese men are far, far more likely to marry Asian women than American women (or any western country other than perhaps Russia.) I'd be willing to bet the marriages with poor Lations, Phillipinos, North Koreans, and so forth are comparatively much higher. Where is the news story on THAT?

travelmom and more said...

I think it is hard to lump a billion people into sterotypes. Obviously for some marrying outside of ones race and culture would be very hard or impossible. But others who have been educated abroad or raised in a cosmopolotan city like Shanghai or one who is from a less tradtional family. There are also plenty of Western women who like more "traditional" men. Some Chinese women have very strong personalities and determination, these characteristics are not unique to Western women. I think we like to judge based on what we see presented to the world, but when you go into peoples homes and become friends with women of other cultures you find we are much more similar than different.