Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It's a wild ride -- the truth about adoption

From Parenting.com, a refreshingly frank article about adoption, and in particular adoption from foster care:
National Adoption Month is coming to a close. Each year, groups across the nation hope to find a way to encourage the adoption of the estimated 115,000 children in foster care. Those of us who have opened our hearts and homes to a foster child want to be encouraging as well.

At any given moment, you feel as though you are on a roller coaster of emotions experiencing the wildest ride in your life. Moments of joy are often punctuated by longer dark moments of frustration. We hold onto the bright moments hoping they won’t disappear and cling to our support group in the dark times.

The challenge is that most adoptive parents want to cover up all the pain a foster child has felt with a big hug and cookies. Some adoptive parents travel down the road of adopting a foster child because they want a child who will love them. A few believe if you change the child’s environment, clothing, and diet, he or she will be fine. If you believe these statements are true, you should think twice about adopting a foster child.

The truth is that when you adopt a foster child, especially an older one, it’s a very long road to healing – one that may never develop into the picture we often see of smiling faces on the families portrayed in the ads for National Adoption Month.
How about that?  An article for National Adoption Month that goes beyond the rah-rah cheerleading we're used to.  I can't help but think this approach wil be MUCH BETTER for adopted kids in the long run, since adoptive parents without adequate preparation who think it will all be rainbows and unicorns are NOT what hurting kids need.


DannieA said...

even younger ones still go through tough times of transition.

After my happy post following finalization, I did note that there was also a sad side to adoption from foster care.

It would help out immensely if would-be parents stopped the rose-colored glasses look...not to say there aren't moments of joy, but it's not all butterflies and puppies

Kim said...

You're right - refreshing! I need to take this article with me the next time someone asks me if they "should" adopt... on the one hand, I think adoption can be great. On the other, it's NOT for anyone who's not prepared and willing to give what adoption takes.