Talking about adoption, birthparents, abandonment, race, and China with my kids. That's not all we talk about -- but reading this blog, you'll think it's all we do!!!!!
This is exactly why it is so important to get all and any information you can. Stay connected with foster families, find first families if at all possible. The making whole of the story, the events, people, and places that created what is the person who has endured the changes.
Okay first, let me say thanks for posting my link. Yes, I am Mateo, the adoptee, author of that post. While I personally wouldn't wish my life in general upon anyone, I do understand why things were, or are the way it is. When I started that post it was supposed to be a one shot deal, but its just the begin of my story and I have more to say. Yeah, I like it to the witness protection program which has it's pros and cons but you have to look at the reason for the witness protection program. It's in the best interest of the witness. If I had the option to live my life over with complete knowledge of my prior life or the same as it has been, I wouldn't change a single thing. Yeah I had issues, was it a struggle, hell yeah, but I overcame it and for that I am a better man. Now, I am ready to deal with the possibility of finding out about my prior life, because now I do it on my own terms. This is something I wouldn't be able to do as a child, I would just have to deal with it. I hated my birth mother, I pitied my birth mother, and I realize this wasn't about my mother but it was about me. I'm cool with life, I'm cool with myself. So do take my story as one of enrichment and learning to love oneself, and understanding. As for easy life I couldn't have had it any easier. 8 siblings and every single one of us had the opportunity to go college. My family has showed me the true definition of not just love but family. Once again Thanks to all who happen upon my site, and feel free to leave me a comment also, I will be checking back here also.
Thanks, Matt, as you can see, your post really struck me, and motivated me to share your story. As an adoptive parent, I learn so much from listening to what adopted persons have to say.
Well I'm 34 years old now and life has taught me so much that the past while always important only serves to help propel ourselves forward. Their a many issues with the adoption process but looking back with my current understanding I realized that though it was hard for me, it was also hard for my moms. At the end of the day all she wanted was to give me love like I was her own flesh and blood and that see did. So to openly have a discussion about my prior life was something I think was hard to do when she was giving so much of yourself for me.
I hope that my children will make peace with their relatively unknown past as you have. Many people struggle with something as they grow up. Reminds me of a saying that goes something like this: pray for strength, not for an easy life. Thanks for sharing! Sue (aka anonymous)
I'm happy to see Mateo's post again, tho in a different site. His is an awesome story. I loved it the first time I read it on his blog as well. I wasn't adopted but have similar emotions brought on by dif circumstances, but I do believe that the things that Mateo has gone through has shaped him into an awesome, sweet, person. This is evident in his writing. If you like this post, I encourage to follow him. He's a wonderful source of inspiration for anyone who has been there or wonders what being there turns out to be in the later on...
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