I remember asking a young Asian woman how she knew when she met Asian Fetish Man, and her immediate response was, "Oh, you KNOW!" She said the big tip-off for her is when all he can talk about is her Asian eyes, and her black hair, and her honey skin . . . . I know one Asian Fetish Man, and it was rapidly revealed when I discovered he'd never dated anyone but Asian women, ever. And this is in Lubbock, Texas, where Asian women are not exactly thick on the ground.
I ran across this wonderful post at the wonderful Kimchi Mamas blog, where Angie talks about online dating, and the problem of posting her photo of her Korean self:
I have no issue with the fact that I am Asian. I know it. My family knows it. Even my friends know it.
The problem lies in the responding interested parties.
Like: Asian Fetish Man.
Asian Fetish Man is the man who says "ni how" or "an yeoung" at the bookstore. Asian Fetish Man is the guy you dated who on your first date wanted to know ALL about your "Asian-ess" or worse, kept talking about his experience with Asia, the people and the culture . . . Asian Fetish Man is also the creppy guy who you *just KNOW* has that demoralizing fantasy of "oh me so horny" sexiness or complete submission.
Read the very interesting comments, too -- a real education on recognizing Asian Fetish Man, and some nuanced discussion of the difference between liking Asian women and fetishizing Asian women.