I’ve been thinking a bit more about my adoption, and I realized that I have been suppressing a lot over the year. I can finally say that I am mad at my birthparents and not feel guilty about it. It [feels] really great, and also because of that I think I can be more open with [my parents]. I’m just needing to realize that it was okay to be angry at my birth parents . I think the reason why it was so hard for me to realize that was because my whole life they had been characterized as good people who loved me very much but couldn’t keep me. Maybe they loved me, but they just didn’t love me enough. I thought that they loved me, so I had to love them. Now I get that I do love them, but I am extremely mad at them, and that’s okay because well, I know they care about me and they’d be okay with me being mad at them. Heck, I bet some days they get mad at themselves.The whole thing is a must-read. If you're helping your child deal with anger issues relating to adoption, here's a post identifying some adoption books that allow the adoptee to be angry.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Rainbows, Unicorns, Hearts & Smiley Faces
A great post by Dawn Davenport at Creating a Family, Adoption -- It's Not All Hearts and Smiley Faces, includes the perspective of a 15-year-old adopted as an infant from China. Here's a snippet: