Monday, July 12, 2010

Striking a balance; talking about adoption

At Adoption Mosaic, a reminder of the importance of initiating talks about adoption with our kids:

It should never be the responsibility of the young adoptee to initiate a conversation about such a significant topic with their parents. Should adoptees be EMPOWERED to speak about adoption with their parents? Absolutely. Should kids be the sole guide for their parents? Never. Note: There is a difference between knowing your child and how to talk with them, knowing when they don’t want to talk, or knowing what is appropriate for them as opposed to making them be the initiator. Silence or saying “I don’t want to talk” may mean “I don’t know how”.

Adoptive parenting can be a fine line to walk with many important feelings to balance. Parents will wobble and have to redistribute to maintain the balance, but it is the parents who need to: do the work, set the example and lead their kids to a place of power in their own adoption experience.

1 comment:

Von said...

Can't agree with you on this one.It is the adopters role to create a climate in which adoption can be talked about.When you initiate and don't leave that up to the adoptee you are taking away their choice to discuss or not.
Many adopters take over too much of a child's life and are invasive and swamping as a result of their own anxieties and needs.