Saturday, November 8, 2008

Children's Books From the Birth Family's Perspective?

[My original post title was "Children's Books From the First Family's Perspective," but I was afraid saying "First Family" would make folks think this was another "political" post! LOL!!!]

Check out this review of the children's book, Did My First Mother Love Me?, from the blog Production Not Reproduction:
When little Morgan asks her adoptive mother the book's titular question, her mom pulls out a well-read letter from Morgan's first mom. . . . The love Morgan's first mom has for her daughter is apparent throughout. The book closes with Morgan secure in the knowledge that both her moms care for her and that each validates the love of the other. . . .

The book's simple language will be easily understood by young children. I appreciated the change from the ubiquitous "birth mother" in adoption literature. Morgan's first mom is sometimes called "her other mother" and Morgan calls her "my first mother." (We do use "birth mom" in our home, but also other terms.) I also liked finding a book written from a first mom's point of view and by a real-life first mom.

Two things give me pause, however. First, the description of the adopted child as a gift from the first mother to the adoptive family makes me uncomfortable, and is one we try to avoid in our family. Second, the first mom's experience and reasons for placing are very specific and, in many ways, represent an idealized placement experience. It plays into the common assumption that being single and a little less financially secure than the adoptive family are sufficient reasons to place in and of themselves. Particularly in a situations in which little or nothing is known about a child's placement/abandonment or which are more complicated, this book may not be appropriate. . . .

We don't have this book, and I'm not sure it would work for us as a single-mom family, and not having any information about birth parents. Anyone here have experience with this book? Do you know of any other children's books written from the birth family's perspective? Does anyone know anything about Never Never Never Will She Stop Loving You ?

For anyone interested in writing children's books, this might be a niche market -- something from a Chinese birth mom's perspective.

1 comment:

Wendy said...

I don't know of any, wish I did. Writing one is an option, but I wonder if that is stepping into a place that is not appropriate for me to have a voice. That said, if/when we find M's family I will--after I know them and their reasoning! I know of some other families who have met the first families, maybe an interview with them would be a good step.