Monday, May 23, 2011

"Don't be choosy" when adopting

Icky headline, interesting story in the Malay Mail about Malaysians adopting:
Prospective adoptive parents, selective when adopting a child, have drawn mixed reactions from social groups.

Non-governmental organisations say this mindset, however, needs to change, but acknowledged it is the right of a parent to chose only the best child for adoption.

Pusat Akitiviti Kanak-Kanak Chow Kit's centre manager Ananti Rajasingam felt parents should not be choosy and should change their thinking on the criteria set on baby adoption.

"Babies should not be judged on physical appearance and adoptive parents need awareness on this issue. Please don't be too choosy. All abandoned babies deserve to be adopted."

Ananti felt it might prove disastrous later on in the child's life when he or she learns their selection was based purely on physical traits.

"All I am saying is that babies are created equal. Just accept them. Babies need love not judgment. So, why discriminate? If the child finds out later that he or she was selected for their looks, it might hurt their feelings and jeopardise their relations with the adopted families."

However, Ananti's opinion was not shared by Noraini Hashim (pic), deputy president at the country’s first baby hatch, OrphanCare.

Noraini felt prospective adoptive parents have every right to select babies they want to adopt.

"We can't shove the baby at them and force them to take what's offered. Parents have to be happy with the baby."

* * *

On Wednesday, The Malay Mail front-paged a revelation by the Social Welfare Department on traits more desired by potential parents which, among others, including fair-skinned, curly-haired, chubby and healthy babies, preferably below the age of one.
Also from that Wednesday story:
"It has been quite a problem to cater to the criteria these possible foster parents look for in a child they wish to adopt," said the department's deputy director general (planning), Inau Edin Nom.

"After all, just how many fair-skinned babies under the age of one do we have?

"Just yesterday, a possible foster parent rejected a child we had matched to her because the child has a dark complexion. She claimed no one in her line of ancestors had dark complexion and she did not want to break the pattern."
Thoughts?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Difficult to judge someone else's culture. Wonder what they would say about ours?

Anonymous said...

All I can say is - would the social standards be different for a [kept] child who was birthed?

Linda said...

"Just yesterday, a possible foster parent rejected a child we had matched to her because the child has a dark complexion. She claimed no one in her line of ancestors had dark complexion and she did not want to break the pattern."

Wow. Just wow. She doesn't seem to understand that the pattern would be broken regardless if the child had a lighter complexion. I'd like to say to her, "It's DNA, dummy, and any child you adopt WON'T be part of your ancestors!!"

I have issues with adopters being choosy. I mean, really? A PAP should be capable of unconditional love for a ANY child. Not just the cute ones. Besides- not all cute babies turn out to be cute adults- and vice versa, lol.

DannieA said...

I found this incredibly sad.

Linda already said it all, no need to repeat.

Elaine said...

The bias against dark skinned people is a long established thing in Malaysian culture. Elite Malays tend to be fair skinned.
I'm just glad to hear that adoption is happening at all, given the difficulties of adoption in Muslim law.