Monday, August 25, 2008


I've added a poll to the right, asking about how often you and your child(ren) talk about adoption and adoption related issues. I know the choices might be a little limited, but feel free to expand on your answer in the comments to this post! I'll do other polls from time to time, and if there's anything in particular you'd like me to ask about, let me know!


Anonymous said...

We talk about adoption almost every day with our two from China (age 5 and 8), but only because we are in the process of adopting another child from China. We have told both of them the stories of how we went to pick them up from China, and they love those. Other than that, my five year old has shown no curiousity about her own adoption and my eight year old only started asking questions last year when some of her school mates were curious about it. She didn't have the answers to questions like, "Why did your REAL mommy give you up?" so she came to me for answers. I don't think she found my answers very satisfactory, but mostly she was annoyed at her friends for putting her on the spot. I used the same answer you used, "Your birth parents couldn't take care of you," which begs the question, "Why?" I don't think she's ready yet to hear about China's one child policy or second daughter issues. We don't know the particular circumstances of our daughters' abandonments and likely never will. I expect this will be a source of pain to them, and I wish I could spare them that.

malinda said...

Thanks for commenting, "Anonymous," and congrats on your new child! Are your children going to China for this adoption trip? Just an FYI, Zoe at age 4.5 came to China for Maya's adoption, and our guide frequently talked, in English, about "abandonment sites," birthparents "abandoning girls," etc. I had never used the word abandonment with Zoe, and cringed every time I heard it in China. It seemed mostly to go over her head at the time, but your 8-year-old might need a little preparation.

Anonymous said...

Yes, we're taking our girls and we're all very excited. We're adopting a waiting child. This is our first venture into adopting an older child - but I hope not our last.

I have also been very careful not to use the word "abandoned" with our girls. Thanks for the heads up, I'll have to think about how to prepare.

Sheri said...


I need a fifth possible answer: 2-3 times a week!

Thanks for starting this blog, and for posting about it on GuangxiFamilies - I'm now a subscriber!