Saturday, March 13, 2010

Really, Really, Really Sad About My Birth Parents

Everyday it seems I just really, really, really, really, really, really miss or want my birth parents. What about you?

Sometimes I just think about them, but sometimes something happens to make me think about them more. My grandpa is in the hospital right now, and I'm really worried he'll die, even though Mama says he's getting better. I'm really, really, really, really afraid of losing him, and it makes me think of losing my birth parents. That makes me feel really, really, really sad.

I think the only thing that would make me feel better when I'm worried and sad about my birth parents is seeing them and making sure they are OK.

What makes you feel better when you are really, really, really, really, really sad?

-- Zoe


Wendy said...

I know how you feel. I miss my birth family too. becase their in China and I met my birth family and when I met my birth family I was scared and happy when I met my birth family.

From Madeline

Lorraine Dusky said...

Dear Malinda:

Thank you for this post from Zoe. We first moms they think about us? I love your courage in facing the issues. Keep up the honest work.

Lorraine from

Birth Mother, First Mother Forum

Wendy said...


I cannot imagine any child does not, they may not have the words or may not have the opportunity of open conversation due to their parents views of adoption or just a lack of trust.

My daughter thinks of hers and verbalizes her feelings, she goes through all range of emotions in relation to her first family--she chooses the term birth family at this point. As you can see, she had mixed emotions when she met them, still does on many levels, but forgets them--Never.

Mei Ling said...

"Everyday it seems I just really, really, really, really, really, really miss or want my birth parents. What about you?"

You already know a bit of my story, don't you?

So to answer you, Zoe, yes, I do think about my parents every day. And I do miss them a lot.

I remember that feeling when I was little... knowing there were two people out in the world who had given birth to me but still gave me up. It was hard.

It must be so difficult to try and understand, especially at your age.

Solim said...

Hi Zoe,
I also think about my birth parents and get really sad. When this happens, I have to wait until the sadness goes away on it's own, and although it always comes back, if I write down my feelings, read a favorite book, talk to someone who understands or get a hug (or sometimes lots of hugs), it's easier for me to get through. It doesn't make the sadness go away but it helps me.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I feel better when I give my sadness, fears or worries to God. I remember that God can take care of things that I cannot handle. I hope your grandpa gets better soon!

Von said...

Yes I do think of them every day but I don't really miss them.I know my mother thought about me every day, they've both been ded a while now.
Loss has a way of coming back to us when we experience further loss.
I take Bach Flower Remedies which help a lot.

Meia said...

Thanks for sharing :)

For myself - I've felt curious, and I might have felt the intense sadness it sounds like you're experiencing - but the fact that I'm not quite sure seems to point out that I moved on, or at least reached some kind of peace. This poem I wrote about thinking about my birth parents (mother, specifically) might interest you:

Something else I wrote about searching for birth parents, which I don't know would apply to your situation, but that is sort of a perspective from the other end of the spectrum (which might either cheer you up or amaze you that someone could be so casual about the subject!) is here:

Sandy said...


I missed mine too! I had a stuffed animal - a dog with long floppy ears that was my compainion when I was sad - many tears soaked his coat - sometimes I hugged that dog for a long time and other times after a bit I would go find my dad. Dad never said much but always let me help him and taught me about what he was doing - dad had a way about him that soothed my soul and made my day better and could do it without words. I hope you find what works for you.