I had a birthday yesterday (an event I'm trying to forget ever since a smart-aleck reminded me that though I was "only" turning 49, I was entering my 50th year!). I received hand-made bookmarks from each girl, and then I received intangible gifts from Maya -- a sweet kiss and a hug (yes, she told me that was my present!). Zoe gifted me with two pictures, a poem and a note.The picture above is Zoe's artistic interpretation of our first meeting. LOL! Not historically accurate, but very sweet! The drawing illustrated a poem:
Mom, you're so sweet and so nice.Awwwww! I'm feeling pretty good about myself at this point -- what a great advice-giver I am! And the next illustration made me preen even more:
When I'm always in trouble you give me advice.
You always know just what to do,
whenever you do that I just want to say I love you.
You always help me when I feel confused.
I just want to say, "Thank you!"
The picture above , is of Zoe and me talking about adoption (OK, when did I grow a pony-tail?!). I'm congratulating myself, because Zoe really does value having the opportunity to talk about her birth parents, her adoption, China, etc. I really do feel we've become closer as we've talked more and more about these topics which are so often on her mind. The drawing illustrated a note:Dear Mama,Ouch. Two zingers in there! You shouldn't talk about grandchildren to a woman who has just entered her 50th year. And then the yelling thing. I wish I was one of those parents who never yells, but I'm not. When I asked Zoe how it made her feel, what it meant to feel like she's back in the orphanage, and she said it makes her feel alone.
Thank you for talking about adoption with me. I still don't understand wny they let me go. Do you think someday I'll find my birth parents?
I like living in America and being from China.
Whenever you yell at me, it's like I'm back in the orphanage.
I hope you enjoy your grandchildren.
Love,
Zoe
So among the sweet things, I get a birthday reminder to work harder on the not-yelling front! Kids keep us humble, don't they?
4 comments:
What thoughtful gifts--the best kind!
Happy Birthday again, and yes you have a lot to be proud of--two smart and beautiful girls!
Welcome to my world of being almost a half-century old. Yes, we are old enough to be grandparents, but barring teen pregnancy, it will be awhile until that happens.
As you might recall, my younger daughter has stated that adoptive parents should be made to promise not to yell. I don't yell that much, but apparently she is sensitive to that. And, though I do believe it that it makes her feel bad, I have to wonder if there isn't some effort being made to instill a bit of guilt in hopes that it would stop the yelling. Maybe she could just try not to do the thing that leads to yelling.
I blame it on hormones (or lack thereof)!!
Sue (aka anonymous)
Cool post, Malinda, I always enjoy the blog when ever I visit, but we need you over at firstmotherforum.com to show that all adoptive mothers are not like the anon who is posting. and... need to have your email...
lorraine
Happy Birthday! Loooove the birthday gifts - your Zoe is so insightful and SO smart!! As far as I'm concerned, you're 50 when you're 50!!
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