Sex, babies, periods, birth parents, hard stuff -- are you dreading "the talk?"
I had to include the "I hate you" moment -- when your child is mad enough to yell that at you. Hasn't happened to me yet, because yesterday Maya skipped right past it to: "I wish you were dead, then I can wear anything I want!" Yikes!!!!!
So here's a mini-poll you can answer in the comments -- what do you think I said?!
a. Well, if I'm going, I'm taking you with me.
b. You'd be living with Mimi, and I guarantee she wouldn't let you change clothes 3 times in one morning.
c. That's so MEAN! Don't you love me anymore?
d. I love you anyway, Maya.
Extra bonus points for guessing what I was thinking as well as what I said!
Also, post comments about the real, actual, genuine poll in the comments, too.
Adoption Initiative Conference 2022
2 years ago
10 comments:
Oddly enough I never used the "you're not my REAL mother" retort when I was a little - not even in anger.
Then again, I was never defiant enough to pull off anything like that.
My guess is that you responded with "I love you anyway" while thinking all of the above.
My eight year old has already screamed "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..." several times in the middle of a rage. Because she's so mad, I generally don't respond at all - it would just add fuel to the fire. I have talked with her when she's calmed down about how words can hurt, but it has little effect when she's angry.
Thank goodness Mia is too young to start with all of this, but oh boy I know it's coming :)
Not sure if you've seen this article about our daughters province, "Live long and Prosper":
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122367266613424083.html?mod=yhoofront
The answer is "b". You know and she knows that I don't take any bs from anybody!!! I would NOT let her change clothes if she did not need to do it. The more she rages the less she would get her way.
While there are numerous reasons my daughters birthparents may have gave her away, the most obivous is a visible facial difference she was born with. I don't exactly dread the talk about the reliquishment, I just realize it will be very very painful, and most likely will happen many times over. I feel helpless that I may not be able to take away her pain. So this is the talk I "most dread", although it's the talk I most want to be there for her.
I am going with B too.
I am going with B too.
I'm guessing you said (b) but maybe tossed in (d) at the end.
On the poll, I picked the relinquishment questions but only after first clicking the 401k question and changing my mind! Not sure why I'm dreading the "why did my birthparents relinquish me" question so much. Maybe because I hope when it comes I can talk without crying, and can be present for my daughter in whatever emotions she is having.
I picked the 401K one because I don't see any of these as a "big talk"; I don't take that approach in any aspect of parenting. For me all things start young and add and get more detailed as she ages.
You were thinking "b" (if you lived with Mimi she wouldn't let you change three times ) but you SAID "I love you anyway."
Where's my prize?
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