When I started this blog, I was STARVING for real-live examples of talking to kids about adoption. I wasn't finding them in books, I wasn't finding them on the internet. Lots of people explained WHY it was important to talk about our children's stories, but there wasn't so much about HOW. So I started blogging about how.
Now I'm finding more people sharing their conversations, more adoptive parents talking about talking about adoption. It's so nice to hear -- a chance to compare what I'm saying to my kids to what others are saying. An opportunity to look for new language, new explanations, new tactics. A window into how other families are engaging with their children of different ages on the hard parts as well as the happy parts of adoption. And even when I'm not learning anything new, it helps to affirm that I'm "doing it right."
I ran across these two conversations -- two in one day! -- something I would have been stunned to find a year ago:
O Solo Mama: The photo that talked to us, on the photo of foster moms from her daughter's orphanage that opened a conversation with a child who isn't often open to talking about adoption.
Our Little Tongginator: Was I Cute?, on dispelling her daughter's concern that her birth parents chose not to parent her because she wasn't cute.
Thanks for sharing, ladies. I'd love to hear from others -- what are you saying to your kids about adoption today?
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4 comments:
I agree, at least the conversations are emerging--thanks to your blog and others.
It is great to see so many people coming to the collective table and sharing their experiences, I know the kids will be the better for it and we will better parent.
Thanks Malinda for your part in helping to foster the discussion!
I still greedily take in all "talking adoption" conversations other people have. Thank you for these two great ones!
Hey, Malinda--thanks for the shout-out. It was a lovely moment. My daughter left the room with more thoughts percolating, I believe. Would love to hear your take on the leafing-through-the-magazines-for-Asian-beauty-queens strategy. (And by that, I mean Asian-Americans, Asian-Canadians, etc.)
For magazines, Mei Magazine works for us right now.... how about youtube? There are some very glamorous Asian girl pop groups (S.H.E. videos are a favorite here)
When I talk about my daughter's first family, I usually refer to them as "your Chinese family", "your other family", or "your family that looks like you". What other specific terms do people use?
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