B. The Solution
Attitudes toward unwed
pregnancies and teen pregnancies have changed over time, as have the perceived
solutions for the problem. Social and
public policy has always focused on prevention – either prevention of pregnancy
through abstinence or through access to birth control or prevention of
childbirth through abortion. But once a
pregnancy occurred, and was likely to be brought to term because of the
unavailability of abortion, solutions varied over time. During the Puritan era,
the solution for an unwed pregnancy was typically marriage, thus avoiding
single child-rearing for the most part. Again, during the late 18th
century and early 19th century, a hastily-arranged marriage was the
solution for premarital sex that resulted in a pregnancy. With increased urbanization and
industrialization and the increased mobility it brought, it became easier for
fathers to avoid marriage, so new solutions needed to be found.
Adoption did not become
a perceived solution to the problem of unwed or teen pregnancy until after World
War II. Prior to that point, social and
public policy called for keeping unwed mothers and their children
together. “Family preservation was the
creed of early twentieth-century child welfare reformers.” Separating mother and child was thought to be
damaging to the child, harmful to the mother, and dangerous for the adoptive
parents. Adoption would deny the child
the “real mother love” it was entitled to, and would deny the birth mother an
“incentive for right living.” Adoptive
parents would be saddled with children genetically predisposed to bad behaviors
“which cause family heartache.” There
was little interest in adoption at this time because of strong beliefs in
behavioral heredity – the children of women who had sex out of wedlock were
thought to have “bad blood,” and consequently, “blood will tell.”
Until the 1930s, unwed
mothers were encouraged by social reformers, evangelical maternity homes, and
social workers to keep their babies.
Several states joined in, enacting legislation designed to discourage
the separation of mother and infant. One form these laws took was mandatory
breast-feeding and bonding laws that required unwed mothers in maternity homes
to remain with their children for a number of months before the children could
be relinquished for adoption. Even in
states without such regulations, many maternity homes required expectant
mothers to agree not to relinquish their children, and to remain in the maternity home for at
least six months following birth even if they intended to relinquish the child
for adoption. In Minnesota, adoption placement by unwed mothers was allowed
only “if it seems necessary under all the circumstances.” Thus, the expectation
before World War II was that teen and unwed mothers would parent their
children.
There was a change in
attitude toward adoption by social workers as they “professionalized” in the
1930s and 40s. While social reformers
saw the child of the unmarried mother as “a tool in the redemption of the
mother,” social workers began to see their client as the child, separate from
the interests of the mother. Increasingly, social workers saw the best
interests of the child to be served by adoption. Social workers began to
pressure unmarried mothers to surrender their children to adoption instead of
parenting them:
When a Door of Hope
resident expressed her desire to keep her baby, her social worker “worked with
her, trying to show her how important it would be that the child be given every
possible consideration. We tried to point
out to her that possibly if the child was placed for adoption, it would get
things that she could not possibly give to him.” Another unmarried mother
recognized the influence social workers could exert, even when trying to remain
neutral: “It’s not what Mrs. K. says exactly, it’s just that her face lights up
when I talk about adoption the way it doesn’t when I talk about keeping Beth.”
One scholar describes this time in American adoption
history as a time of “pressure, coercion, and
inhumanity in procuring consents.” The underlying attitude of adoption
professionals was that an unmarried woman and her child did not constitute a
family, as evidenced by the following quote from an agency head:
An agency
has a responsibility of pointing out to the unmarried mother the extreme
difficulty, if not the impossibility, if she remains unmarried, of raising her
child successfully in our culture without damage to the child and to herself .
. . . The concept that the unmarried mother and her child constitute a family
is to me unsupportable. There is no family in any real sense of the word.
In denying parent/child dyads the
status of family, social workers privileged the normative family, and viewed
these dyads as “’a blow at the solidarity of the family’ itself.” Unmarried
mothers were seen as unfit, and expected to relinquish. One agency head decried the lack of “skills
and techniques” to obtain relinquishments among his social worker staff, and
the “fearfulness in being aggressive in securing a release, as I feel, for the
best interests of the child, they should be in many instances.” Thus, the
expected outcome of an unmarried pregnancy was placement for adoption, and
social workers and agency professionals felt duty-bound to ensure that
unmarried mothers relinquished their children for adoption.
As social workers
changed their attitudes about unmarried mothers placing children for adoption,
there was a concomitant growth in interest in adoption after the war. The
American eugenics movement tapered away and the importance of parenting –
especially mothering – emerged with
the post-war baby boom. Infertile couples wanted in on the baby boom, and with
less concern that behavior was biologically determined, adoption became an
appealing option. While maternity homes
prior to the war worked to prepare unwed mothers for single parenting, after
the war the homes anticipated that the girls would place their children for
adoption by infertile couples. Thus, from the period following World War II until
Roe v. Wade ushered in legalized
abortion, the solution for minors’ pregnancy was adoption. By placing a child
for adoption, an unwed mother could redeem her transgression and contribute to
her own rehabilitation.
With Roe v. Wade, abortion became an
additional solution for unmarried women’s unintended pregnancies. Adoption
placement continued, but there was a significant decline starting in the late
1970s. Whether the availability of legal
abortion caused that decline is a highly contested matter, since the
legalization of abortion did not occur in a vacuum. At the same time abortion became legal,
stigma associated with unwed pregnancy and illegitimate birth started to
decline as well:
Social scientists may
eventually understand fully why attitudes toward sex and marriage changed so
profoundly. Whatever the mechanisms, in
less than a decade a shameful condition was transformed into a personal
choice. The rise of the women’s
movement, the sexual revolution, the greater availability of abortion (which
made out-of-wedlock childbearing truly a choice), and the increasing fragility
of marriage all no doubt contributed to the astonishing shift in the social
meaning of illegitimacy.
By the end of the Roe v. Wade decade, 90% of unmarried mothers were choosing to
parent their children rather than place them for adoption. By the late 1980, 97-99% of unmarried mothers
were choosing to parent their children. Given the availability of abortion,
“choosing to continue a pregnancy means choosing to raise a child. Today, the
decision to keep a child is one that tends to be made before the baby is born.”
With
this changing landscape, fewer pregnant minors are relinquishing parental
rights and consenting to adoption. One
scholar describes as most common the view of adoption expressed by this
16-year-old mother:
Sure I thought about
it, but I never could do it. I know a
lot of people could do a better job than me of being a mother and they can’t
get pregnant, but that’s not my fault. I’m
not going to go through nine months and then give someone else the benefit.
With the decrease in stigma associated with
out-of-wedlock birth, minor mothers feel less pressure to relinquish parental
rights. Placing a child for adoption
appears to them to be privileging material gain over the familial love that a
poor and young mother might feel is the only thing she can supply. This
reluctance to place a child for adoption can been seen in a positive light:
“These young mothers express a commitment to moral values over material
advancement, a passionate attachment to children, and a willingness to try to
sustain a family (albeit a nontraditional one) whatever the social and
financial cost.”
While
the increase in adoption placement after World War II coincided with the increase
in adoption among parents, the opposite has occurred in recent time. With delayed childbearing and increased
infertility, the demand for adoption has increased at the same time the supply
has decreased. In this environment, some
adoption professionals are returning to the potentially coercive “skills and
techniques” of the past to encourage teen mothers to relinquish their infants.
The National Council for Adoption, spearheaded legislation to create and fund
the Infant Adoption Awareness Program, which offers free training to those who
might come into contact with pregnant teens at health clinics, to encourage
adoption. The NCFA also offers the
training to school nurses and counselors, abstinence program personnel, crisis
pregnancy center counselors to encourage girls to consider adoption placement. Although
the law requires counseling to be nondirective, there is considerable evidence
in the training materials that the counselor is expected to direct the girl
toward adoption.
One method suggested in
the training materials is that a girl resistant to adoption is self-deceived
and selfish, is behaving “inhumanely.” Consider this statement from the
training materials:
Of course, if others
are living inhumanely, they will not benefit from what we offer until they
change their hearts—until they give up their self-deceptions. At the least, our
humane obligation is to be relentless in showing those seeking help how to
create and maintain a humane way of being in the midst of their seemingly
overwhelming circumstance.
* * *
So before answering
these kinds of questions, we must also be living in the principles and
assumptions that guide our adoption philosophy. For example, this curriculum
invites adoption counselors, unmarried young women who are pregnant or have
borne a child out of wedlock, biological fathers not married to the woman,
parents of the young woman, and potential adoptive parents to consider the best
interests of the infant as paramount. This principle stands in contrast to
granting every person connected to the infant equal claim on the child. We are
pursuing adoption as a process that provides parents for a child who needs
them. It is meeting that need in the best possible way for the child that
invites us to take the adoption option seriously.
So the nondirective adoption counseling should start
from the proposition that the birth mother must “change her heart,” and
recognize that she has no better claim to the child than any other person – any
other attitude is self-deceptive and self-centered. This is a shocking
statement, given the way we ordinarily frame parenthood and parental rights.
Indeed, if the decision of who was the rightful parent of the child rested
solely on “best interests of the child,” any number of biological parents would
lose their children to wealthier, more stable parents!
What does the training material suggest to put these
ideas in practice? Recall the statement
illustrative of why so many teens are resistant to adoption:
Sure I thought about
it, but I never could do it. I know a
lot of people could do a better job than me of being a mother and they can’t
get pregnant, but that’s not my fault.
I’m not going to go through nine months and then give someone else the
benefit.
The training materials suggest that the counselor
respond as follows:
This statement can be
declared from a self-centered or other-centered perspective. A variety of starting
points are possible here, and must fit the counselor’s own sense of how to
discuss realistic possibilities. . . .
Counselor: “It sounds
as if that is a statement where you are acknowledging the value of this baby— that
the child means something to you. Is that right?”
If the young woman
acknowledges her meaning is that she would have become attached to the child, you
could ask, “When you first made the decision to carry the child, do you sense
you did it for the child or for you?” [This is, of course a question that can
be answered in four ways: I did it for the child; I did it for me; I did it for
both; I don’t know (or none of the above).]
A humane decision will
always include being for the other, and being for the other in a humane way will
always reveal that you are simultaneously “for” yourself.
And in a section entitled, “What do I say if my client says. .
.,” counselors are told to answer the statement, “I could never give my baby
away,” by encouraging adoption: “Adoption can be a courageous and unselfish
decision because you are putting the child above yourself.” A video of a birth
mother discussing her decision to relinquish illustrates that the technique is
employed. She describes that she told
her counselor emphatically that she was not at all interested in adoption
placement. But it seems her
“nondirective” counselor pressed the idea, because she found herself working
through an “adoption workbook.” It is hard to square this with “nondirective”
counseling touted by the training materials.
It
is against this backdrop of history, social practice, and ideology about teen
pregnancy, unwed pregnancy, teen parenting and attitudes toward adoption that a
pregnant minor is asked to make a decision about adoption placement. Thus, it is instructive to consider how
minors’ decision-making differs from the decision-making of adults, how the law
has traditionally viewed the decisions of minors, and how the law treats the
decisions of minors in abortion and adoption.
Very well done - you have shown that there has been a return to the types of pressure used during the era I was surrendered. Very sad indeed.
ReplyDeleteOne small critique back up at the Roe vs Wade - there was also the influx of contraception (the pill) and court cases allowing an unmarried female the right to obtain that contraception - Ct vs ? as well as the change to Ma law prohibiting contraception and most likely other state laws.
I agree with the adopted ones - you really summed it up well.
ReplyDelete