Bringing Home (Adopted) Baby

WebMD gives 10 essential tips for newly-adopting parents; among the good advice are two often-overlooked reminders:

5. Prepare for a Grieving Baby.

You are overjoyed that your new baby or child is coming home with you -- but they may not feel the same way, at least not at first.
"Your baby or child is being separated from everything they know," Harder says. "They may be grieving and might act out in various ways, like constantly crying or not being able to sleep. Work with your adoption social worker to learn about grief and loss in adoption and be prepared for what those first days, weeks, and months might be like."

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9. Don't Plan on Love at First Sight.

New parents' expectations for the moment when they first meet their baby or child are often sky-high -- but the reality can just as often bring them crashing down to earth.

"You may expect to fall in love with your child instantly, but that might not happen," Walton says. "You think it'll be this lovely picture, where you sit and nurture your child and they gaze into your eyes right away. But you may not feel that instant bond. You may like, but not love your child right away."

Don't beat yourself up if you don't fall in love with your baby or child on sight. Parents don't always admit this, but even when you give birth to a child, sometimes you don't always feel that instant rush of love. "Relationships take work, attachment takes work, and little people take work," Walton says. "It doesn't always happen all at once. That's normal."

These two together are not something many adoptive parents will admit to, that the usually-idealized first meeting might be less than wonderful. Check out the comments to this post, Not Always Love at First Sight, where adoptive parents describe the trauma of that first meeting between parent and child -- it should be mandatory reading for prospective adoptive parents.