Here are some links I've run across recently giving advice about talking to your children about their adoptions:
Who Are You and Where Do You Come From? From the blog MotherlyLaw, comparing what she knows of her biological children and what adoptive parents don't know, and using it as a springboard to offer tips on talking to kids about adoption. Links to some good books for kids.
Questions About Adoption, from HealthyChildren.org, a site of the American Academy of Pediatrics, reminding parents they have to use the words "adopted" and "birth mother" and "birth father." (I said the same thing here!)
How to Help Your Child Process The Past, from Judy Miller at Parenting Your Adopted Child; if you focus only on the rosy story of adoption, you're not doing your job.
Talking About Difficult Birth Circumstances in Adoption, reminding us that our children need to hear difficult things from us, not from someone else, if they are to trust us.
Talking With Your Adopted Teen: It's Possible and Important, from the North American Council on Adoptable Children, information on the special challenges of talking to teens about adoption.
Nothing really revolutionary in any of these, but great information for all of us!
Of course all of these are important, but especially the hard or difficult things about adoption. They must come from us and not later. There are always age appropriate ways to discuss loss, hard truths, etc. It is so unfair of parents who keep the happy-happy story going when they know the day will come (maybe not even from them) that the hard stuff and truth will be revealed.
ReplyDeleteSelfish or scared parenting doesn't go well adoption.
Race came up when we were looking for a school for my daughter. Several of my white friends proudly boast that their child does not see color. My response "They don't have to."
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