When a Tennessee mom put her 7-year-old adopted son on a one-way flight back to Russia, it caused an uproar that made the subject of international adoptions front-page news. Dr. Phil speaks with adoptive moms who say they relate to the woman’s decision, and unless you walk a mile in their shoes, you have no way of understanding. Learn what the experts say you should do to prepare for a cross-cultural adoption and how to get through the adoption process the right way.If you watch the show, let us know how it went. I don't have high hopes for anything other than sensationalized, shallow, and another word starting with S. . . .
Talking about adoption, birthparents, abandonment, race, and China with my kids. That's not all we talk about -- but reading this blog, you'll think it's all we do!!!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Dr. Phil Today -- Adoption Disruption
I don't think I can bear to watch, but Dr. Phil's show today is Adoption: Return to Sender?
Wanted to let you know about a new guide we created for new adoptive parents called Realistic Expectations.
ReplyDeleteYou can find it here
http://www.emkpress.com/realisticexpectations.html
thanks for helping us to spread the word. Now if we could just get Dr. Phil to listen
We had a home study update not long ago, and I spoke to our social worker about disruptions due to the increase in people being pressured into adopting special needs children by other APs or their agencies. She said that sometimes she is sad when a disruption doesn't go through because of the welfare of the child being in a home where there is no love. It was something I hadn't thought about much, usually I want to demonize the AP for not doing the work, but there are some that don't do the parenting work, but don't want to be shamed by disruption, what happens to their kids?
ReplyDeleteit came on...(I thought it was a summer re-run?).
ReplyDeleteI wanted to turn the channel...but somehow watched. I then became angry hearing a mother admit she hit their daughter and pulled her hair in frustration...
It seemed Dr. Phil was encouraging the attitude of "well, you have to protect your other children" even if that means dump and run...
But in the end there was some really good hindsight shared and advise for people considering International adoption. The point was made loud and clear that any child from an institution is seriously damaged.
I like the way RAD was discussed.
I am looking for the Dr Phil website now to find his closing list of advise - it made real good sense.
If anyone is successful in navigating his website and finding that information, I'd appreciate a link.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
MRiben@AdvocatePublications.com
Mirah,
ReplyDeletehttp://drphil.com/articles/article/660
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I think he tried to do an honest realistic show why also making the point that there are many different outcomes - tough to do in what 40 minutes of air time.
I am halfway through it on my DVR. So far, I am actually pleasantly surprised. There are 3 mothers who say they identify with Torry Hansen. These mothers are dealing with some of the most extreme cases of RAD, autism, severe mental illness. So while they may relate to the Tennessee case, they have and are going to the ends of the earth to get help for their children.
ReplyDeleteThe main theme to the show seems to be "you cannot love them enough to bypass the trauma they have gone through". I think that is a very important message.
For the most part, I thought the show was well done. Dr. Phil did stress that AP's need to be prepared as best they can and that once you adopt a child, they are yours forever no matter what. It was agreed by everyone on the show that better resources are needed to deal with extreme cases. It was also said that the show was not to scare people away from international adoption, but to be prepared and ask hard questions.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I'm with you. Just the sound of that makes me want to throw something at the TV. =P
ReplyDelete