Ashes to Ashes

Our usual Father's Day tradition (we do the same for Mother's Day) to honor my daughters' birth fathers, writing notes and then burning them so the smoke can carry the messages of good wishes to China, included my dad this Father's Day. The girls included messages to Grandpa, with wishes that the smoke carry their words to heaven. Zoe even asked Mimi and me to include messages to Grandpa.

It was a more pleasant Father's Day than I anticipated.  Last evening  we went shopping amongst the last-minute-gifts-for-Dad crowd, and not surprisingly, the cashier's last words to us were, "Have a Happy Father's Day!"


I admit it, I just wanted to BITE. It was all I could do not to say, "My kids don't have a father, and mine died last week." Maya felt a bit more charitable towards the cashier, she just turned to me and said, "I think it will be happy AND sad." Indeed.

We actually had fun talking about Grandpa most of the day.  We're doing something special for the memorial service -- the girls are going to hand out small stones upon which we've written words that describe Grandpa, especially for the people who never knew him before he became sick.  So we brainstormed words, bought river rocks, and wrote our words -- fun, calm, hard-working, handsome, strong, honest, cheerful, caring. . . . We shared stories about Grandpa with each word.  So all in all it was a day more happy than sad.