Have you ever heard someone tell you that your child is “so lucky to have you”? I suppose most parents hear that at some point and maybe it’s just that I’m particularly sensitive to this as an adoptive parent. There is something about, “She’s so lucky to have you” that sounds as if Anna is somehow indebted to me - and what’s worse is that I hear as often, “imagine where she’d be if you hadn’t adopted her.” I don’t know… it just rubs me the wrong way.
First, it’s ME who is lucky to have her. . . .
Second, imagining where she’d be had we not adopted her is not in my frame of mind. But I can very easily imagine where I’d be had we not adopted her. It’s a little place commonly known as HELL.
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Yes. I know the little place called hell of which she speaks.
ReplyDeleteWell it's all part of the ongoing efforts to ensure adoptees are grateful, 'it was ever thus'..if it rubs you the wrong way imagine how it feels for us.
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