tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post5868552520985203594..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Why the Wait?malindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-90576095123110001872008-10-15T12:41:00.000-05:002008-10-15T12:41:00.000-05:00I'm sorry. I should have said "SOME people do not ...I'm sorry. I should have said "SOME people do not want to give consideration to the birthparents' feelings."<BR/><BR/>I KNOW there are adoptive parents out there who DO care, who do reads the blogs of adult adoptees, who DO make every effort to respect and honour the birthparents' roles, even if they cannot be in their children's lives. And I applaud them for that, because it will pay off in the long run and can instill a huge strong sense of self-esteem in their children.<BR/><BR/>But from what I observe on various forums and message boards - as long as the birthparent is not accessible by any means, it is much easier to keep acknowledgement to a minimum or not even acknoledge them as a mother and father at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-75967104927164396742008-10-15T12:38:00.000-05:002008-10-15T12:38:00.000-05:00I have this distinct feeling that when I'm done co...I have this distinct feeling that when I'm done commenting at your blog, a lot of your lurkers probably won't like what I have to say. But I'll say it anyway:<BR/><BR/>"It's hard to consider that the best interest of the child might be not to be adopted by you when you have so much love to give."<BR/><BR/>It's wonderful that a prospective parent wants to adopt a child who wouldn't otherwise (legally) have a home. Not because they have no parents, but because their parents were unable to keep them due to the OCP.<BR/><BR/>Yet, I often find that people don't want to give much consideration to the birthparents' feelings - about how they may have had to feel when laying their child down to be found by social workers.<BR/><BR/>And then I often receive the "But we don't KNOW if her parents loved her or if they think about her. We don't want to make the assumptions about that."<BR/><BR/>I understand that no one truly knows what goes through the mind of a parent in China who has had no choice but to relinquish. But if a parent takes the time to really think about it, to reflect in their own hearts and minds - do they honestly believe that the birthparent did NOT love their child?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com