tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post5463155274730787370..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Conversation Startersmalindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-41576798578337207682010-03-02T13:10:26.117-06:002010-03-02T13:10:26.117-06:00Mei Ling,
My mom is not my mother either. They a...Mei Ling,<br /><br />My mom is not my mother either. They are each unique and each holds a different place in my heart.<br /><br />I never got to meet my mother - I was too late...and that hurts more than I can ever say.Sandynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-41640181432909551362010-03-02T11:03:18.661-06:002010-03-02T11:03:18.661-06:00"I would have loved my parents saying your bi..."I would have loved my parents saying your birth mother would have been proud if she could have been here...what family member would not be?"<br /><br />When I was in high school (nearing the end of it, actually), I'd constantly ask my mom "Do you think my mother thinks of me? Do you think she'd be proud?"<br /><br />And my mom would say "Of course, I bet she thinks of you every day. I'm sure she would be."<br /><br />But I kept asking because I knew my mother *wasn't* there. And she *wouldn't* be there.<br /><br />And my mom is not my mother.Mei Linghttp://sisterheping.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-71153755564947732742010-03-01T17:05:14.894-06:002010-03-01T17:05:14.894-06:00Great post, the only sad thing is that this post i...Great post, the only sad thing is that this post is still necessary. Hopefully those who feel there is a "talk" to be had will go just as "the talk" when it comes to sex has gone (at least I think that mentality is gone). <br /><br />Trust is developed with many conversations--deep, light, relating to other topics, daily life. A child should never have to wonder if it is "okay" to talk about their adoption; I fear those who see talking about adoption/birth families/etc. as an event are furthering that worry.<br /><br />At this point this concept should be adoption 101.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-11734877332338074172010-03-01T09:48:36.197-06:002010-03-01T09:48:36.197-06:00Great post, M! This is true about discussing othe...Great post, M! This is true about discussing other issues with our kids too. It gets harder to find these opportunities as they get older, I think--but we have to keep trying! I really miss you . . . and am going to miss you. I'm glad you have this blog to make me feel like I'm "right next door." clfAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-33081863576627844522010-03-01T08:23:47.169-06:002010-03-01T08:23:47.169-06:00I would have loved my parents saying your birth mo...I would have loved my parents saying your birth mother would have been proud if she could have been here...what family member would not be?<br /><br />Just having the adoption story is not enough, being inclusive of both families (here or not) is the right way to go. <br /><br />I follow this blog because it shows how adoption has evolved since my time and it is a good thing. Keep doing what you are doing - you have my vote - that of an adoptee who was a child 40 years ago.Sandynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-53004387523456602822010-03-01T01:45:44.427-06:002010-03-01T01:45:44.427-06:00Think you're absolutely right not to make a bi...Think you're absolutely right not to make a big issue out of 'the talk', answer naturally and unselfconsciously when the questions come up.You've shown you're open to talking about it.<br />I'd be so careful about saying things like "Your birth mother or parents would be proud" The little voice inside says 'Why didn't she keep me then?"<br />If children start to bring up questions it's maybe to please you because they think they're being 'good'.There's so many ways a 'good child' in a 'good adoption' will try to please, be accepted and loved.Don't put pressure on them in any way to do what is acceptable in this area, acceptable to you and others that is.Ease up and try to be easy with it...good luck.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-68898909305328686282010-02-28T22:17:56.854-06:002010-02-28T22:17:56.854-06:00I frequently bring up adoption issues with my chil...I frequently bring up adoption issues with my children -- even when they seem uninterested. My daughter (now 5) is starting to bring up questions by herself now, and I think that's partly because we've made it "okay" to talk about her adoption.Tonyahttp://www.mommymusings.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-52041243360132531492010-02-28T21:49:53.523-06:002010-02-28T21:49:53.523-06:00Thank you for all the context and simplicity of fi...Thank you for all the context and simplicity of finding a way in. Yes to practice, practice, practice. My son (AA adopted at birth) seems to be getting so comfortable with everything now, because of all of these every day easy talks. So much easier to this work now then in five years too... The little ones don't hang on every word like an adolescent will. Our most recent started like this; SON: Mom I can almost beat you at checkers and racing now. How come? ME: Well, I know your birth father is an incredible athlete, do you think he played checkers too? Or do you think that is something your first mom is good at too?Mama Chttp://mamacandtheboys.comnoreply@blogger.com