tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post5113114919758325430..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Move Along, Nothing to See Here . . .malindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-41552344666965918542010-08-15T19:25:01.765-05:002010-08-15T19:25:01.765-05:00And then there's the question about whether yo...And then there's the question about whether you're rather be raised as an adoptee or a 'normal child'Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-53668797099042724612010-08-15T13:19:42.173-05:002010-08-15T13:19:42.173-05:00"Bringing up the, "But your tragedy does..."Bringing up the, "But your tragedy doesn't matter because you could have had it worse" is cruel and demeaning."<br /><br />I once told my 'friend' D that my mom and brother's relationship is lethal and it made me feel like crap because of the emotional consequential ripple effects.<br /><br />His response: You do realize some families are physically abusive, right?<br /><br />And I said "Yeah, but uh... that doesn't make me feel any better."<br /><br />"You could have had it worse" <- then what do you say when the worst DOES happen?Mei Linghttp://sisterheping.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-25686240799634315092010-08-15T12:40:12.417-05:002010-08-15T12:40:12.417-05:00Exellent post Malinda.Exellent post Malinda.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-20649992030505310882010-08-15T10:20:32.039-05:002010-08-15T10:20:32.039-05:00Malinda, you are so wonderful. You might not be ab...Malinda, you are so wonderful. You might not be able to tell from all of my ramblings, but I am actually not anti-adoption.<br /><br />Crazy huh?<br /><br />If every possible effort has been made to help a child stay with their first family and it can't be done, I am pro-adoption over orphanage care.<br /><br />All the same, any time an adoption happens, it means we have failed. We have failed to meet the needs of the child by helping their families needs be met. We must continue to find new innovative ways to help children born to mothers in duress of circumstance or crisis situations get the financial resources and therapeutic resources to be the mothers their children need.<br /><br />Because even if it is "better than an orphanage", the tragedy involved makes that sometimes a mute point. <br /><br />Like if you get in a car crash and you live but you're paralyzed from the waist down. Like if you went to war and saw horrible things that will never fully leave your mind, and you live. But you're not sure if you're the lucky one for doing so.<br /><br />Bringing up the, "But your tragedy doesn't matter because you could have had it worse" is cruel and demeaning.<br /><br />If someones mother dies do you say, "Well you're so lucky, she could have been kidnapped and tortured for 10 years. You're lucky she's died instead of that happening."<br /><br />Like, what?<br /><br />Or what about someones child is sick in the hospital and it's unknown if they'll get better. Who would say, "Well you are SO lucky that you even got to have a child at all. Some people never even get to have children. So just remember you're the one who is lucky."<br /><br />No one should ever bury their child. No one EVER should be expected to be GRATEFUL if they have to bury a child.<br /><br />No one should ever have to feel grateful about losing their first mother.SustainableFamilieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08820607553556177222noreply@blogger.com