tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post3861693661918207302..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: She can't be your mom, you don't match!malindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-60774382072681057172010-09-06T10:00:47.346-05:002010-09-06T10:00:47.346-05:00I think the process of change is often painful. I...I think the process of change is often painful. If we didn't have "unmatching" families, how would society learn? I always think of the people of color who sent their children to the first desegregated schools. How painful that must have been for the children to be taunted due to their skin color, to be unwanted, to not fit in. But now we have schools where it is no big deal to see children of different races learning together. It's not perfect, but mostly better than it was 50 years ago. I agree we need to continue to educate people. <br />Sue (aka anonymous)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-5908214529619941962010-09-06T08:58:51.808-05:002010-09-06T08:58:51.808-05:00Even though my Adoptive Mother and I are both Whit...Even though my Adoptive Mother and I are both White, I would hear that all the time. Or, they'd think she was my step-mother because I do somewhat resemble my Adoptive Father. I just always said "I don't look like her because I'm adopted."<br /><br />No, you can't keep your kids from experiencing pain. But so much pain is caused by an ignorant society that can be fixed with education and demanding respect for our minority group(s). Why experience pain when it can be changed?The Declassified Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16726376584015902627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-49795783525370718402010-09-05T22:46:55.932-05:002010-09-05T22:46:55.932-05:00You know, I think that every parent would like to ...You know, I think that every parent would like to keep their child from ever feeling pain. But we can't. If it is not the fact that our skin doesn't match, it will be something else. If we could keep them from feeling pain, they would not end up being very strong people. Still it is hard. We feel their pain, too.<br /><br />I do remember a time when any type of adoption-related comment seemed to be unwelcome by my daughter. My answers to these type of encounters tended to be short and to the point. I probably would have just said "yes, I am her mom. Not all parents look like their children." I am assumining that this child had not seen an "unmatching" family before. Most of the time kids ask me "are you their mom?" and I just answer "yes" without elaborating. Let them draw their own conclusions. Maybe next time they run into a family like ours, they won't feel the need to ask.<br />Sue (aka anonymous)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com