tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post3319536330925891219..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Regulation of Minors’ Abortion and Adoption Decision-makingmalindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-5095710842609533672012-07-23T16:21:55.114-05:002012-07-23T16:21:55.114-05:00Yeah - I know my perspective is unique. With all t...Yeah - I know my perspective is unique. With all the horror stories about adopted kids and kids lost "in the system", more and more of us who weren't lose need to tell our stories as well. <br /><br />All I can share is the facts of my life as I've known it, and the fall out.<br /><br />Was my Bio mom traumatized? Probably - she suffers from immaturity and seems a perpetual teenager - but it's impossible to know if having me was what traumatized her, or if she should have been that way on her own. My other example would be my mom, who adopted and raised me. She gave up a child for adoption in her teen years, and she was able to move forward to a good career, a strong marriage (41 years and counting) and a great family of her own (when she was ready - ironically after not being able to concieve).<br /><br />So it's really a "case by case" thing. <br /><br />I would like to see some sort of mandated therapy for teens going through these things - some sort of family counseling, in the hopes those entertaining tough decisions (and whether to go through the physical and emotional changes to allow a child to take it's first breath or not is probably the TOUGHEST I can think of) will take the time to explore their options COMPLETELY - Meet people in similiar circumstances, etc. I'm sure it must seem terribly overwhelming and we've all heard horror stories of both routes. Those who have made peace with their decisions seem to speak more quietly. <br /><br />No doubt there is emotional, legal, and physical "fallout" from either decision. I would hope every family could come to these things with open hearts, but not every family has that warmth and dynamic, which would make the parental permission for either more challenging. I can't condemn anyone as I'm not in their shoes. It's just so darn tough to really put legal guidelines to such heart felt, uniquely circumstanced topics. :/-J.D. Humenayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14086704419701940067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-33821399381415385452012-07-18T12:39:30.022-05:002012-07-18T12:39:30.022-05:00Wow J.Darling-- that is a jaw dropping story. I w...Wow J.Darling-- that is a jaw dropping story. I want to clarify-- when I say I am ProChoice-- I emphasize the choice part. It seems like some folks tend to take ProChoice as meaning ProAbortion-- I am not pro or anti abortion. <br /><br />I am glad that in your situation (your mom's situation) things worked out well-- but I have seen and lived with the fall out of parents who have made decisions regarding pregnancy and parenting for their children-- that did not worked out. <br /><br />Sometimes parents of teen moms will have great insight and sometimes they will not. I know a mom who coerced her daughter to have an abortion even though her daughter didn't want to. Decades later she still struggles with having had an abortion. This was not the right choice for her and her mom knew that it wasn't but coerced her anyway. <br /><br />Like most things in life, I don't think there is an end all right or wrong for every sitatuion.<br /><br />Best,Reenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07119020258638171080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-46333210634879579092012-07-18T12:18:53.678-05:002012-07-18T12:18:53.678-05:00I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother (in th...I'm pretty sure my maternal grandmother (in the late 1970's) made my biologocial mom have me.<br /><br />And I gotta say, from sitting behind this computer today, I'm pretty glad she did.<br /><br />After all, my bio mom was 15 and maintained she was raped for 15 years after my birth (she wasn't - she was sneaking around with a 20 something and said she was 18...)<br /><br />She got zero prenatal care and probably did everything a 15 year old could to try to get rid of me. I was still born, but recusitated.<br /><br />When I think of all those facts counting against me, it amazes me to think I surivived my birth with no real defects, and was placed in a loving family who was ready for a (2nd) child. <br /><br />Abortion has always been a challenging topic for me, because here I sit- a living, breathing testimony to what 'can' be if we take the chance. W/o pre natal care, they had no idea if I'd be normal and healthy. And no teenager should have to suffer the child of violence (rape), right? But they took their chances, and here I am. <br /><br />I know I have a unique perspective from where I sit - but for what it's worth - sometimes parents of teenage moms have some really great insight. My maternal grandmother's pressure probably saved my life.-J.D. Humenayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14086704419701940067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-24621550677825815152012-07-18T06:54:51.963-05:002012-07-18T06:54:51.963-05:00Something I don't understand and maybe I have ...Something I don't understand and maybe I have this all wrong-- I thought that it is not possible for a minor to legaly sign anything--not even have their "own" checkbook unless it is a co-account with a parent/adult because a minor's signature is not legally binding. Is this correct?<br /><br />If this is correct-- how can a minor legally sign documents relinquishing their rights? <br /><br />I am ProChoice and I am not sure how I feel about required notification/consent of parents that their child is PG. I have witnessed a mom pressuring her daughter to have an abortion (not the right choice for this young woman--but she did it). Also-- the whole Baby Scoop Era-- seems like it was primarily the parents forcing their young daughers to relinquish their babies--so I am not so sure that parental notification is the answer. I am not sure what the answer is . . .Reenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07119020258638171080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-25096595334574565692012-07-17T23:35:13.469-05:002012-07-17T23:35:13.469-05:00Do any states differentiate between the decisions ...Do any states differentiate between the decisions a minor parent can make vs. the ones a parent over, say, 18 can make? For example, in any state, does a minor parent have to get her parent's permission to vaccinate or not vaccinate her child? Or to get her child's ears pierced? To get her child circumcised? <br /><br />It seems to me, if one says that a parent is capable of making decisions for her child, and consenting to adoption is one of those decisions that a parent is capable of making for her child, then a minor parent has the same rights as a parent over 18. That is, the law doesn't care how old you are when you become parent; you're automatically capable of parenting. One of the decisions a parent can make is to place his/her child for adoption. <br /><br />While we're on the subject, though, I think all parents considering relinquishing, regardless of age, should be required to have their own counsel.Robyn Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10354355040845413097noreply@blogger.com