tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post2344176049412405014..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Should you search?malindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-48507497747704557892008-09-23T12:10:00.000-05:002008-09-23T12:10:00.000-05:00I would search if I could afford it and hold infor...I would search if I could afford it and hold information until G was ready for it. I have to let G be the guide here.RamblingMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04148625565336724234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-47310695209125103142008-09-22T21:31:00.000-05:002008-09-22T21:31:00.000-05:00Anonymous...You prob already know this but if push...Anonymous...You prob already know this but if push came to shove and you had willing participants perhaps they'd do a DNA. A simple cheek swab, and nowadays you can mail it in!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-62514838668035489582008-09-22T15:17:00.000-05:002008-09-22T15:17:00.000-05:00You can put an ad in the paper; we looking into th...You can put an ad in the paper; we looking into that route ourselves. I don't think you would get too many people looking for money as that does not seem to have been the case with other searchers. It is probably in what you are seeking and what you are offering if anything.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-27305246913465804792008-09-22T14:44:00.000-05:002008-09-22T14:44:00.000-05:00I've certainly thought about it. I know the date t...I've certainly thought about it. I know the date that my daughter was born and the day she was found, where she was found, with the added bonus that she has a cleft lip and palate. I've wondered if I put an ad in a local paper there with that information, what would come forward. I'm convinced that lots of people would come forward hoping to get some money from me. And I'm sure it would not be allowed to put an ad like that in the paper in the first place. But I certainly know that my daughter was the only child abandoned at her orphanage on that day, and her cleft makes her unique.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-82454698856831170822008-09-22T12:11:00.000-05:002008-09-22T12:11:00.000-05:00Wendy, You make a really good point about the dif...Wendy, You make a really good point about the difference between "search" and "reunion." Having the additional information or contact info doesn't mean we establish personal contact before our kids reach the age where they can make the decision.malindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-44759436008142186842008-09-21T20:41:00.000-05:002008-09-21T20:41:00.000-05:00So far I have done all I can from the States and I...So far I have done all I can from the States and I did get more info from the SWI; however, I am in the process of trying to get the original police report. Currently I am waiting/hoping that three people (first I only found one and now two more) in my daughter's finding city will help me with the search by putting out flyers, going to the hospital, and contacting a newpaper. My next step also has to be to go there and I just think if I can get there to search I may find something. Her area is not small, but not so massive that one could be anonymous. Also, M has limb difference on both hands and both feet so I am hoping that will help identify her too--it should and it is a rare genetic disorder so that should also help to narrow the search.<BR/><BR/>Each day goes by I feel like I just need to get there before too much time passes. We had a family trip planned for next year, but I am thinking I may postpone that and make a trip on my own (or please come Malinda) to get some answers--I am hoping.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-35868615342149534552008-09-21T19:39:00.000-05:002008-09-21T19:39:00.000-05:00PS I'll have to say that I have felt a bit hopeful...PS I'll have to say that I have felt a bit hopeful when I think about it because my child was abandoned in a smaller town AND had a very large obvious birthmark. I thought if I "were" able to figure out how to get the word out, perhaps someone who saw her back then would come forward. Maybe just wishful thinking, but I'd be so thrilled just to have the info for her should she ask.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-78775763981117040632008-09-21T19:37:00.000-05:002008-09-21T19:37:00.000-05:00Wendy - Is there anything in particular you are do...Wendy - Is there anything in particular you are doing to try to search? I wasn't sure if the task is impossible without physically being in China. And even then, as Malinda pointed out, the records are limited....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-88810988282771831912008-09-21T17:39:00.000-05:002008-09-21T17:39:00.000-05:00I would and am trying. I did not come to the deci...I would and am trying. I did not come to the decision lightly and have read all I can find about adult adoptees in their searches. Yes, many say it is for the child to search, but many more wish they had more to go on. This is the reason I am not sure if I would reveal what I know to M. I may change her story if I knew truths and I may reveal some of what I have found for her own self-worth and identity, but I absolutely feel it is her decision to want to meet or see them, not mine. That does not mean she will not want the information in the future or that she would have to do anything with it if she had it. Again, her call. I want the info there though and the only way (imo) is to find them now, China is changing rapidly and once small towns/villages are becoming cities. Good luck when 10,000 becomes 100,000 or 100,000 becomes 1,000,000 people. Just my take.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.com