tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post1046505377829581009..comments2024-02-27T00:41:15.985-06:00Comments on AdoptionTalk: Rise in Domestic Adoption in Chinamalindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06233439015219192874noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-316191265933534655.post-10714651059535734672008-09-03T08:26:00.000-05:002008-09-03T08:26:00.000-05:00I so agree. Madeline's foster mother also has tol...I so agree. Madeline's foster mother also has told us there are less children abandoned and available for her to foster. Many of the foster mothers have had to travel to orphanages farther away to find children to foster and also some have just quit and gotten different jobs completely (M's is now working as a private nanny). She has also told us that attitudes are changing toward girls and that with new money people do not care as they know any child can earn enough to support them. I am so glad to hear it and so glad that more families are able to adopt (I don't think it was a matter of not wanting to before as China has a very long history of adoption, but I think policy and finances were much of the reason for less domestic adoption and the reason for higher abandonment rates). <BR/><BR/>btw--I haven't discussed the third best option either; well, not in those terms. I am waiting for her to age a bit, but I have agreed with her that it is sad that her birthfamily could not care for her for one reason or another as I know she really wants to know them (especially their names--it is a sticking point for her). <BR/><BR/>As far as foster/adopt terminology, I was told there is no exact translation and the terms are often substituted one for another. I know with Madeline's foster mother, she often will write adopt China mom and sometimes foster Chinese mom. Our translator on the phone will also shift during our conversations from one to the next. Also, her foster mother was very upset that we were going to tell her about her birthparents. When we first came home she begged us to tell her that she was her bio mother so she would not have pain and feel shamed. We then asked her how we would explain to her why she would let her be adopted to the USA and what kind of pain would that cause. In China, M referred to her as MaMa and has a foster family that was identified as her bio family, her foster mother wanted to adopt her, but was not allowed (we found that out last year). After MUCH explanation and discussion her foster mother is happy with our decision (or at least content) and understands the reasons behind our decisions.<BR/><BR/>I am currently reading a dissertation about early Chinese adoption so I will let you know if anything is learned there. So far there is a difference in the Ming dynasty as adopted children at that time had to have the same surname, but foster (also referred to as adoption, but under different circumstances) meant that a child from a different area was brought in or a girl was brought in as a sister to eventually marry the son or that the son was married to a daughter and the daughter became the in-law and the boy became the son. <BR/><BR/>All that said, I am just glad that policies are changing and hoping that at least the nsn program will eventually close and not be necessary. I know there is a long way to go with attitudes about children with sn, so I think we will see that program for some time.Jeff and Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07330454830153579449noreply@blogger.com